Saturday, August 30, 2008

Old people are weird

It must be weird to be old. And with old I mean if you are in your seventies or eighties (or even in your nineties). You must know your life is almost over when your body is slowly falling apart and every friend you ever had has already died.

If that isn’t bad enough, you also have no idea what is going on in the world. Sure, you watch the news and try to keep up with the big stuff, but it must be hard to understand all the new inventions, technology etcetera.

Like flying. Or phrased differently, how to check in. This week a little 78-year-old Swedish lady got a little confused over the check in instructions and climbed after her suitcase onto the conveyor belt.

Yep, you read that correctly. Apparently, she lay down on the belt and ended up in the baggage handling bay. Staff were a little surprised to find her, but luckily she was unharmed.

I love how the guy in charge of baggage called the incident “a bit unfortunate”. You can say that again. I wonder why it made total sense to her that that was the way you check yourself in.

Old people definitely need protecting from themselves.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

YouTube Thursday: Lesbian commercials

Advertisers might not always be to sure how to market to lesbians, but they sure have no problem using lesbians to sell there products. Lesbians…or just women who make out with other women.

I like watching women make out with other women as much as any red blooded lesbian, but unfortunately many of these commercials are rather bad.

I especially hate it when we are supposed to believe these girls are actually gay:

Jim Beam:


Dolce & Gabbana:

The only one I quite enjoy is the next Johnny Walker commercial:

Probably because it is actually targeted towards lesbians instead of straight men…

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I used to be covered in piercings

When I was eighteen I had my nose pierced. It was something I had wanted to do for years. Up to then I had only had piercings in my ears, which over the years had turned into quite the silverware collection.

I thought piercings were the coolest thing ever and I could not wait to have a nice big ring through my nose. So finally one day I had my nose pierced, and for weeks I felt like the happiest and proudest teenager there ever was.

At first I had a little stud in there that needed to stay in place for six weeks, but once the time was up it was quickly replaced by a big studded ring that only just fitted through the hole.

I remember thinking I looked so good with it, despite what everyone else was saying. Actually most of my friends thought it was awesome too, but then they were covered in piercings and tattoos themselves.

However, my parents were less impressed and so were a lot of people on the street. I got a lot of comments hurdled at me, which I never quite understood. Why did they not like my awesome nose piercing?

I recently saw some old pictures of me with my big nose ring. Looking at it I can still remember why I felt so great about my piercing, but now I can also see what everyone else was seeing.

The studded nose ring was a bit much and I have to admit it might have also looked a little ridiculous. Here was this lovely little girl with a huge ring through her nose. I have to say it did go really well with all my other piercings though.

The piercing fun did not last very long. After a few months some of the skin around the piercings in my ears started to swell up. At first I thought it was just a little infection, but it soon turned out the skin on my ears was actually growing.

I was growing additional skin and tissue on my ears, which not surprisingly totally freaked me out. As soon as a doctor had looked at it, he told me I had to take out all of my piercings, including the one in my nose.

I was a little reluctant to do so, even though I of course realized that something was very wrong.

In the end I needed to have extensive plastic surgery in order to have the lumps removed, and have my ears reconstructed into their original form. I think it took about four or five surgeries in total, which were very painful and it never really resulted in my ears looking like they did before I had had all the piercings.

Good thing there are always many ways to cover your ears so no one can notice it. I am just lucky I took out the nose piercing in time, or else my nose would now be as misshaped as my ears are.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

You should read it: Harlan Coben’s Myron Bolitar series

I generally love most detective and suspense novels, but I have to admit there is a huge difference in the quality and originality between these novels. One of the better suspense novels are those written byHarlan Coben.

His Myron Bolitar series, about a former professional basketball player turned sports agent and part-time private investigator, qualifies as one of my most favourite novels of the genre.

A serious knee injury has caused Myron to change his career, but this fact has never made him bitter. On the contrary, he is a very optimistic and fun person who honestly cares about all of his clients.

He also happens to be a professional smart ass with a great sense of humour. Even though he is a grown man in his thirties, he still lives with his parents who he adores and they also adore him.

His daily life can be described as anything but dull. Together with the help of his best friend and psychopath Win and his lovely assistant and former WWF wrestler Esperanza, he has managed to solve a lot of mysteries as well as keep many of his clients out of trouble.

All of Coben’s novels are well written, fast paced and suspenseful. Myron Bolitar is such a likable and humorous person that you cannot help but start to care what will happen to him. You want him to be able to solve his cases, help his clients and more generally you want life to work out for him.
I also love how Myron uses sarcasm a lot, plus the fact that he is such a great big smart ass. If you enjoy reading suspense novels, I am sure that you are going to love these Myron Bolitar books.

Read more of my Harlan Coben’s book reviews here.

Monday, August 25, 2008

TV Shows you should own on DVD: Battlestar Galactica

I have many times before, both on here and out in the real world declared my love for Katee Sackhof. Actually, it is really more a love for (or is it lust?) Starbuck. Gawd, that woman is f-ing hot!

Besides being a little obsessed with Starbuck, I do really enjoy Battlestar Galactica for other reasons too. I do not care so much about all the action in outer space, but I love the stories being told.
This show has such great storylines, characters that you care about because they are so charismatic and well developed. Many issues are raised that make you think about life and morals and ethics and all kinds of deep stuff.

Of course, it is also about being entertained and watching a bunch of hot women. I wonder if I like BSG so much more than some of the other sci-fi series because of all the women. I mean, which other sci-fi TV show has that many women playing prominent roles?

Anyways, in case you are not familiar with BSG (Boy, have you been missing out!), let me tell you a little bit about the premise of the show.

Battlestar Galactica tells the story of the journey of the last surviving humans after the nuclear annihilation by the Cylons. The Cylons are creepy robot like creatures that were once created by humans, but started thinking for themselves and decided to take over the world.

Cylons have evolved up to the point where they can look like humans. They not only look just like humans, they can also act and feel in a similar fashion, and some of the Cylons do not even know they are not human. However, every Cylon is programmed to perform a certain role in their strive to take over the world.

The human survivors are led by President Laura Roslin, a former kindergarten teacher, and Commander Adama, in a fleet of ships with the Battlestar Galactica as its command ship. Pursued by Cylons intent on wiping out the remnants of the human race, the survivors travel across the galaxy looking for the fabled and long-lost planet Earth.
Over the course of several seasons we get to know the crew on board the Battlestar Galactica, including some of the pilots. These include main characters like Lee Adama, the CAG and Adama’s son; Starbuck, the best pilot they have but way too insubordinate and destructive for her own good; and Boomer, another pilot who turns out to be a Cylon.

We do not find out she is a Cylon before she has gotten herself pregnant. They then have to deal with the dilemma of what to do with a Cylon who is carrying a (half) human child.

This is just one of the many ethical and moral questions that are raised in this show. We soon learn that they might be at war with the Cylons, but even in war, not everything is black or white. The fact that Cylons are the enemy and not human, yet are so human like, makes for very interesting story telling.
If you haven’t watched BSG yet, go buy or rent the DVDs now! I promise you won’t regret it.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Because you’re hot: Natasha Kai

When I say I do not really care about sports, I am making the understatement of the year. I hate most sports really, especially if it involves either teams or balls. More even than playing sports I hate to watch others play sports. Where’s the fun in that?

Not surprisingly then, I haven’t exactly been keeping up with the Olympics. Of course it is impossible to totally ignore it if you own a TV or computer, but I have tried.

Actually, the only reason I have enjoyed any of the Olympic coverage is because of all the f-ing hot women participating. What’s up with that?

One woman has particularly caught my eye….Natasha Kai. Damn, that woman is hot!

Natasha is part of the United States women’s national soccer team (I think she normally plays for Hawaii) and she is to blame for me actually watching soccer. Ok that is not really true, I watched a few minutes of the game.
Then I spend the rest of the match Googling photos of Natasha. Luckily I am a nice kinda gal and I am more than happy to share my findings with you.


Friday, August 22, 2008

Life update

For those of you who wanted to know, my pepper plant is still very much alive, and giving me more peppers than ever before. I keep being amazed at how just simply watering a plant daily can have such huge effects.

Yes, I know absolutely nothing about plants or caring for them. Therefore, the simplest aspects of it are fascinating to me. I get all excited like a little kid and everyone just looks at me funny.

The few plants I have had always died, apart from the plant I used to have in my office that I only fed left over coffee on a daily basis. Some thought that was cruel, but it did survive for over 2 years, so it can’t have been that bad.

Plants do not die and sometimes actually blossom if you take care of them. Wow, who knew!

Anyways, enough about my pepper plant. In other news, I am about to start my new job and I am really excited about it (even more so than about my blossoming pepper plant). I think this is going to be the perfect job for me.

It is the perfect job for many reasons, but I especially love to be able to choose my own hours. No more getting up early, ever! Does that make me sound lazy? I am just not a morning person.

I had to get up at six the other day and it almost killed me. I am not kidding! There really is no good reason to get up before eight EVER…Well, unless important peeps expect you to or crucial life events demand you to.

I am a big fan of just changing the hours we work and go to bed. Who says people should work form 8 until 6? Why not from 10 to eight instead? We would just work later, eat dinner 2h hours later, go to bed 2 hours later and get up two hours later in the morning…

Nothing would change, just that we did not have to get up early anymore. Of course now that I have my perfect new job I do not need for the world to change anymore. I can just deviate freely.

Life is good. Sometimes.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

YouTube Thursday: Awesome eighties teen movie trailers

These movies need no introduction. You probably love them already...and if should!

The Breakfast Club:

Some Kind of Wonderful:

Oh Watts, how I adore thee!

Pretty in Pink:

I used to have a crush on Andrew McCarthy. Looking back on it now, I think I wanted to be him. Even now, I still think he is soooooooo cool. Gawd, I'm a geek!

St. Elmo's Fire:

Ok technically not about teens, so what...

Pump up the Volume:

Ok technically not from the eighties, so what...

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Things I do not like

In case you had not noticed yet, I am a complainer. I complain about just about anything and I also enjoy complaining. What really helps with all this complaining is that there are also many things I do not like.

I am always surprised to find out not everyone is like that. There are some people who do not really hate anything. They feel hate is too strong a word. How can it be too strong a word for things that totally suck?

Let me share with you the top three thing I hate (or really do not like, if you will).

Stupid people

My number one hate or annoyance is stupid people. With stupid I do not necessarily mean people who aren’t that educated or who are intellectually challenged, but just any person who acts in a stupid way.

Worse even is the kind of crap that some people say. I think there should be a law against stupid people voicing there opinions! If that cannot be done, how about a rule that makes everyone think before they speak?

The world would be a much better place if only people used their brains a little more. Then again, we do not call stupid people stupid for no reason.


I think the thing I complain about most, second only to stupid people, is probably the weather. Remember people, I live in the Netherlands so there is always lots to complain about weather wise. I think the only country with worse weather is England.

It is usually raining or windy. Or worse, both at the same time. Half of our summer so far has consistent of autumn weather. We even had hail a few times! On those days when it is not cold, rainy or windy it tends to get really freaking hot! Did I mention I am bad with heat?

Anyways, even though the weather sucks here and I should know this by now, it never stops me from complaining about it.


I really do not like rules. Or actually, I do not really have a problem with rules per se. I am perfectly fine with following most rules. However, the one thing I really really do not like is being told what to do.

It does not even matter what the person is asking from me. Even if it is something I agree with and would have done anyway, the simple fact that someone is telling me I should do it makes me want to disobey.

What’s the fancy word for that again? I just cannot help it. I think it has something to do with the fact that I am extremely stubborn. I have always had a problem with authority, only when I was younger I was to shy to actively disobey. Not anymore.

In my line of work there really are very few people who tell me what to do, which works out really well. At the same time, the less I get told what to do the harder I find it to obey the few rules I have to obey.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Books I read in high school: Pride and Prejudice

I loved Jane Austen when I was in high school. I am not sure why. Perhaps I was a little more romantic then than I am these days.

I still think her novels are beautifully written, just the topic of young women looking for a good husband seems to appeal a little less to me these days. I wonder why.

Actually, my favourite Jane Austen novel is Sense and Sensibility. I am not sure how much this has to do with the fact that Kate Winslet plays in the movie adaptation of this book

Anyways, Pride and Prejudice tells the story of the Bennet family, consisting of five unmarried daughters who according to their mother should be married of to some nice, promising and rich young men.
The sisters all seem to agree, although they all have their own opinions about just what nice and promising means.

Of course over the course of the novel they all find their perfect husbands and live happily ever after.

I find it scary when I think about the fact that even in 2008 there are still women who only have one dream and that is to find the perfect husband. If all I had to live for was being a good wife I would surely kill myself.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Remakes no one wants to see: V: The movie

Remember V, that 1984 TV series about aliens who were trying to take over the world?

As a little 8-year-old I thought it was one of the scariest things I had ever seen. Aliens who looked like humans, but were not… They could strip off their human skin to reveal their alien lizard like skin.

Or were they part lizard? See, I do not even remember the exact details, just that it seemed unbelievably creepy to me. However, as I have mentioned before, when watching the intro to V now as an adult, I find it hard to understand what I ever thought was creepy about it.

Let alone why it was so enjoyable. It all just looks so very fake and dated. But just as with so many other crap TV shows that look fake and dated now (read: Knight Rider), someone has come up with the brilliant idea to make a movie out of it.

Of course V: the Movie is really what the world is waiting for. C’mon, you had a short-lived mildly successful TV series fourteen years ago that no one has ever been interested in bringing back to life before. No one cares about seeing this in the movie theatre, apart from those few folks who watched the series as a kid and hope it can bring back some fond memories of being scared yet intrigued.

Just let it go!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

YouTube Thursday: Lesbian beer commercials

Have you ever noticed how lesbians and beer seem to go together? Well, at least according to advertisers they do...

Time for some fun lesbian beer commercials....or should I say, bi-curious beer commercials...

In any case, it is beer AND hot girls....sometimes they even make out. What more could you ask for?

They come in several varieties...with distinct themes if you will.

Some of these commercials are geared towards women:

Why not try a woman...
Miller Genuine Draft:

Most of them, however, are geared towards men:

Two women together is really hot...

Blue Light:

She doesn't want you...she wants a woman...
Kronenbourg 1664:

Getting left at the alter for a woman...


Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Music Memory Moment: Don’t talk about love- Bad Boys Inc

When I was 15 I went to stay with a pen pal of mine in Scotland. We had been writing to each other for years, bonding over the fact that we were both heavily into boy bands.

Yes, boy bands.

Don’t laugh! As I have mentioned previously, I used to be quite the fan of a number of boy bands, especially Bros and New Kids on the Block. This all started when I was 12 and it had me pretty occupied for a number of years.

So I went on a little holiday to stay with my pen pal and her family for two weeks. We got on really well, and spend most of those two weeks hanging out, going sightseeing and her parents even took us on a long weekend somewhere with a lot of hills and lakes.
It has been a while, so I do not exactly remember the details. But I do remember we had a lot of fun together. We were 15 (or I think she was actually a year older), but we were so naive. The boys in the boy bands we were obsessed about were really the only boys we knew.

I don’t remember that fact actually bothered me. For years I hung out with all these girls, dreaming and obsessing about famous guys that we never had to worry about actually having to get involved with. Or at least that’s how I saw it.

No strike that, that is how I see it now. Looking back on it, I realize I might have had just a little bit of a crush on my pen pal. I just did not recognize it at the time. I used to not realize a lot of stuff when I was younger. Hmm. Well, she was really cute.

Anyways, we would go visit these Radio I Road shows, live broadcasts from radio shows that always included a few live performances. They weren’t exactly big stars, I remember seeing Jason Donovan (who was trying to make a comeback), some TV stars, and a lot of second rate boy bands.

One of the boy bands performing at the road show were Bad Boys Inc. I absolutely loved them! I guess looking back on it now, they were just like all the other boy bands, but back then I thought they were really different.
Perhaps they were just better looking? Well, check for yourself. I remember having a huge crush on the guy on the far right. Thought he was gorgeous. I guess, he is a nice looking boy. The song we saw them perform a couple of times was called Don’t Talk about Love.

Have a listen, it is rather crap…but also kinda fun, the way these songs usually are. I think it is actually a cover of another boy band, but I never could find out which one. I remember them having the greatest dance routines. I also remember us making little banners with I heart BBI.
I still own the 7"single of this song. I think it came with a poster.

Oh it is all so embarrassing. Those were fun times though. Really fun. I wonder what my pen pal is up to these days…

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

I’m always hot

Get your mind out of the gutter, I do not mean it in that way. I just always feel warm, even when it isn’t a hot summer day, even when I am not even doing anything, even in winter. Well, most of the time anyways.

It always surprises me how many women always complain about being cold. I honestly do not understand it. How can you feel cold when it isn’t cold at all? I guess that is easy for me to say seeing as I hardly ever get cold, but still.

Many women are also cursed with cold hands and feet. Now I have to say, because I am always hot cold hands can be really nice sometimes. However, I haven’t been able to find anything positive about cold feet yet.

Where am I going with this? I intended to just write about the fact I am always hot, not complain about girls being cold. It is funny though, sometimes.

Whenever I hang out with both male and female friends, I notice it is usually the women putting on sweaters and coats, while the guys and I just keep going in our t-shirts without noticing the apparent cold at all.

How does that work exactly, that some people feel cold quicker than others? Is it physiologically or just mental? I find it fascinating. Well, perhaps I am slightly exaggerating, but still I would like to know. Can anyone tell me?

Monday, August 11, 2008

Song of the week: N.E.R.D.-She wants to move

Movies I have seen too many times: Fight club

Fight club is one of my all-time favourite movies. What I love most about it, is that this movie is not what it seems. At first glance, you might think it is just about these guys being bored with life and not caring about all the superficial stuff in today’s world.

Or perhaps you just see Fight Club as another movie involving pointless and needless violence. However, I love that during the course of the movie you find out that things are not at all as they seemed. In fact, the story being told is really a different one.

In case you are one of the few people on this planet who are not familiar with this movie, here is a short summary of the plot:

Edward Norton (who I love in almost everything, do not ask me why) plays a boring automobile company employee with a bad case of insomnia. During a flight for a business trip, he meets Tyler Durden (played by Brad Pitt).

When he arrives home he finds out his apartment has been destroyed by an explosion, and he calls Tyler and moves in with him. Tyler lives in an unbelievably dirty and broken down apartment, which apparently suits him just fine.

While they are having a fight in the parking lot, they attract quite a crowd, and decide to establish a fight club in a bar’s basement. The fight club becomes more and more popular, and eventually they expand to having fight clubs all over the country.

Fight club becomes Project Mayhem, which commits increasingly destructive acts of anti-capitalist vandalism in the city. At some point Tyler disappears and Edward tries to trace Tyler's steps to see what exactly he has been up to. That is when he finds out a very shocking truth about Tyler Durden.

You can read the entire review here.

I must have seen this movie at least a dozen times, and I still think it is just as great as the first time I saw it. Maybe even more so now, because I know what the movie is really about and I watch it in a different way.

It is not like most of my other movies I have seen too often, but I definitely love it.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Because you’re hot: Erin Kelly

I had forgotten all about Erin Kelly until I read an interview with her on AfterEllen this week. How could I possibly forget, you might ask.

Well, I am not sure, but the interview and especially the photos, sure jogged my memory.
I loved her in Loving Annabelle, thought she was very hot. You know, for as far as high school girls are hot. I wish I knew girls like that when I was in high school.

Then again, if I had they would never have given me the time of day anyway, let alone go out with me. But one can dream. And lust, in a non-creepy sort of way of course.
Anyways, Erin is just hot, whether she is playing a slutty teenager or a psychotic sex addict.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Books I read in high school: Rebecca

When I was in high school I read everything and anything I could lay my hands on. I was a big book geek and proud of it too. I must have read most of the books in our local library.

Sometimes during high school I started getting into reading books in English. Up to that point, I had only been reading books in Dutch, including translated English titles. I soon found out what a difference it makes to read a book in its original language.

One of those books I first read in English was Rebecca. Rebecca is the most popular novel by Daphne du Maurier that was first published in 1938.

I must admit I have not read this novel since I was in high school. I do remember that I really enjoyed reading this book, and I also recall most of the major storyline, but you will have to forgive me if I am a little sketchy on the particular details.

The story is about this woman who becomes involved with a wealthy Englishman called Maxim de Winter. She agrees to marry him and move back with him to his estate, after only having known him for about a week.

Of course, that is not one of the smartest things you can do, because you really do not know someone after such a short time, and you have no idea what kind of skeletons they are hiding in their closets.
It turns out Maxim was married before to a woman named Rebecca, who has drowned the year before. Under any circumstance this would be difficult, but the fact that the memory of Rebecca still has such a strong hold on all the people that knew her, makes it very hard for the new wife to find her place.

Already an insecure kind of girl who worries a lot about how she is going to be a good wife, these feelings are only increased by the constant undermining by the housekeeper Mrs. Danvers, one of the meanest bitches in the entire world.

Mrs. Danvers goes out of her way to declare her devotion to Rebecca and at the same time make sure the new Mrs. de Winter feels like she is worth nothing and will never be able to compete with Rebecca.

She even purposely makes suggestions about how she should act and behave in order to make her look stupid. Convinced that Maxim still loves Rebecca and desperate to change that, the new Mrs. de Winter is actually dumb enough to do exactly what Mrs. Danvers says.

This all gets completely out of hand at a costumed ball, with her dressing up in the exact same costume as Rebecca wore right before her death.

However, instead of seeing what a pathetic woman with no self-esteem, he has married and leaving her, Maxim actually decides to tell her the truth about his marriage to Rebecca and about how she died.

Turns out things were not exactly like she was let to believe they were. Even though the extreme insecurity and desperation of the main character to please her new husband annoyed me a lot, I have to say the story is very interesting and captivating. I remember not wanting to put this book down until it was finished.

Then again, it has been a long time, so I am not sure if I would still feel the same way. It is not unlikely annoyance over the girl with no self-esteem would win this time around.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Blog crush: U-Holler

The thing about doing special monthly blog crushes (or any other themed topic I try to do every month) is that it starts out as a great idea, but then before you know it another month has gone by and it is time for another crush.

I don’t actually sit around crushing on all these bloggers, refreshing their blogs minute after minute in the hope of a new post. Googling them to find out personal info, harassing them with comments, emails and fan letters, or any other kind of obsessive stuff.

Perhaps if I really did I would qualify as a stalker?

Instead it is more a case of really enjoying reading about what some folks have to say. It is either the topics they blog about or the way they blog about stuff. Hell, some blogs I even like just because of the great comments they receive.

Anyways, this month’s blog crush pick is U-Holler.

Why? Because I like women who aren’t afraid to speak their mind…and I think Jennifer is trying to turn it into an art form…

Thursday, August 7, 2008

YouTube Thursday: TV Programs I loved as a kid

Pippi Longstockings: Who doesn’t love Pippy? I so wanted to be her.

V: Weird sci-fi futuristic show about aliens trying to take over the earth. I thought it was soooooooo scary. Seriously?

Knight Rider: This was the coolest show around when I was in primary school.. A futuristic awesome car that could speak and had a mind of its own…(Is anyone really waiting for the remake?)

The A-team: The second coolest show around.

Nils Holgerson: About a boy who could shrink and flew away on the back of a bird.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Don’t see it: the Love Guru

Don’t even ask me what the hell made me decide that watching The Love Guru was a good idea. I mean, the title alone should have stopped me, not to mention I totally hate this kind of genre (read: bad dumb humour).

But still, I just could not help myself. And well, what can I say. The movie is even worse than you might have thought. Let me enlighten you.

The Love Guru tells the story of Darren Roanoke (played by Romany Malco), a star hockey player, whose wife Prudence has left him for the goalie. He is so stressed out over this that it makes his hands shake, which is problematic because it is starting to affect his ability to score goals.

Guru Maurice Pitka (played by Mike Myers) is called upon to help Darren with his problems, so that the hockey team can once again win all of their games.

I could go into detail about the rest of the movie’s plot, but I think you can probably guess what is going to happen. The Guru is going to try to come up with lots of different and creative ways to get Darren to relax.

Of course, he is going to do this in the most hilarious manner possible. Or at least, I think that was the point of the movie. The problem with this, however, is that the Love Guru just is not funny.

In saying that I am being way too nice, because what I am honestly thinking is that this is probably one of the worst movies I have seen in a very long time. It is simply awful.

It is true that I am generally not a big fan of the kind of infantile humor that is displayed throughout this movie. However, I was willing to give the Love Guru the benefit of the doubt.

Don’t ask me why. I so wish I had not , because that is 90 minutes of my life I am never getting back. I mean, tell me if it is just me, but how on earth is watching guru apprentices attack each other with urine-soaked mops funny?

Would you actually be amused by detailed and graphic depictions of the biological functions of an elephant? Or by jokes about the digestion of the great guru himself? You enjoy non-stop silliness like I just mentioned, you say? Well, by all means then, go see this movie if you must.

Me on the other hand, I can only take so much poop and sex jokes in a 90-minute movie. It would not even have been all that bad, if all the silly jokes had at least been part of a nice story.

Sadly, this movie seems to have at least three times as many jokes as it has plot development. I do not expect much from a comedy like this, but I did expect something, anything.

If a good story was too much to ask, I at least wanted to be entertained or perhaps be moved in some way. Unfortunately, the only emotion this movie elicited from me, besides disgust, was utter disappointment.

Do not see it!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

You should read it: Where are you now? By Mary Higgins Clark

Where are you now? is the latest novel by Mary Higgins Clark, the best-selling American author of over 20 so-called suspense novels.

It tells the story of Carolyn, who goes on a search to find her brother Mack, who has been missing for the last ten years. Putting her own life in jeopardy, she slowly uncovers the truth about what happened to her brother.

The book also tells the story of a serial killer who is preying the streets of Manhattan. Four women are already missing and are presumed to be dead. Charles Mackenzie, better known as Mack, has also been missing for over ten years.

No one has seen him or heard from him, save from a phone call he makes to his mother once a year to tell her he is ok. His sister Carolyn is fed up with this, and she is determined to find him. She wants to know where he is, and what exactly happened to make him go into hiding.

Of course, at first her search raises more questions than it answers. Not only that, but Mack did not go missing for nothing, and in digging into his past, Carolyn is putting herself in danger as well.

In the meantime, the search for the serial killer continues, and one cannot help but wonder if maybe there somehow is a connection between the mysterious serial killer and the brother who has gone missing.

The police certainly seem to think so, and Carolyn herself cannot just ignore everything that she finds out about Mack and his disappearance.

I have read quite a few of Clark’s books, and what I love about them is the fact that they usually feature strong, independent women who have to face their problems relying only on their own courage and intelligence.

I also love the way in which the suspense is usually written. Throughout the book, you keep thinking everyone is guilty, but who exactly is the killer is never revealed, not until the very end.
If you enjoy a good suspense novel like me, you should definitely check out Where are you now?

Monday, August 4, 2008

Song of the week: My American Heart-Boys! Grab your guns

These guys are awesome, I love their sound...

Leather wrist cuff

All of a sudden I decided I should have a leather wrist cuff. After all, they are all the rage these days, and well, no self-respecting lesbian can do without at least one leather cuff. Or so it seems.

Finding a suitable wrist cuff turned out to be a lot harder than I thought. First of all, I am rather picky when it comes to cuffs or jewelry of any kind. Oh who am I kidding, I am picky about everything.

I knew exactly what kind I wanted though. It had to be black (or dark brown), not too wide and not too small, and it couldn’t have spikes, glitters or anything overly girly. I know what you’re thinking, isn’t that exactly what a proper lesbian wrist cuff should look like.
Well, that might be the case but that does not mean they actually sell any like that. Or at least I could not find any. I looked and I looked, but without any luck. Then last week I met up with one of my male cousins, and guess what he was wearing?

Yep, the perfect lesbian leather wrist cuff. I was so excited I even had to try it on and made him tell me where he had gotten it. So today I went to the store where he had bought the perfect cuff, all excited I was finally going to get my own cuff.

Of course they had all sold out, because who wouldn’t want a lovely cuff like that? On a side note though, I had never realized before what kind of awesome jewelry and accessories they have in the men’s section.

Normally I have to look forever to find something I like that isn’t too girly, and here is this entire section of a store devoted to stuff I like. Hmmm. It kinda makes sense and I am not sure why I had never thought of this before.

I might still not have found myself a leather wrist cuff, but now I do know where to go next time.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

The worst songs of the nineties

Taste in music is a very subjective thing. What appeals to me might be something you cannot stand, and similarly songs that I hate could be the same songs that you are ecstatic about.

Still I believe that there are a few songs out there that are so unbelievably bad that we just have to agree on how much they suck.

Because there are just so many bad songs out there, I have limited it to the 1990’s.

Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice

This was a huge hit in the early 1990’s and it is probably in your record collection. Come on just admit it. I am not too ashamed to admit I own a copy of it too. Vanilla Ice was one of the first and probably one of the worst white rappers, who rapped about his tough gangster life.

It already did not sound very convincing and believable, but later we found out the guy had actually made up his whole though rapper past. I knew all the lyrics of this song by heart and even rapped them on a few occasions. My only excuse is I was young and did not know any better.

Hangin’ Tough by New Kids On The Block

Boy bands were the new thing in the 1990’s and one of the first and most successful boy bands were New Kids On The Block. They weren’t too bad as far as boy bands go, but Hangin’ Tough must be one of the worst songs ever recorded.
Why is it so bad? Mainly because just as with Vanilla Ice the topic and the lyrics of this song are so ridiculous. Here you have five cute little squeaky-clean boys singing about how tough they are. Not just tough, but arrogant too.

“We’re gonna put you in a trance with a funky song” Seriously?

Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex

In the nineties we would dance to just about anything, no matter how bad it was. Weird and dumb lyrics seem to be especially popular. One of the worst acts to come out of Scandinavia was Rednex, who had a huge hit with Cotton Eye Joe.
The best way to describe it is probably as a weird cowboy country techno song. I remember it having the most retarded lyrics ever, a lot of yeehaws, and a guy singing in a horrible American accent. Do not even get me started on the video.

Barbie Girl by Aqua

The late 1990’s were the time of bad kiddy dance numbers of which one of the worst was probably Barbie Girl by Aqua. It had great lyrics like “I’m a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world”, and they attempted to make Barbies appear very sexual, which is creepy and wrong all on its own.

This Norwegian duo went on to have a few more dumb dance numbers like this, but Barbie Girl was by far the worst song they ever brought out. Of course it was also their biggest hit, because these things seem to go together.

Did you know the YouTube video of this song has over 20 million views? Ridiculous.

My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion : Over 25 million views

Besides bad techno-pop the late 1990’s also brought us one of the most horrible songs ever recorded. My heart will go on was the theme song of the blockbuster movie Titanic whose soundtrack sold millions of copies.

I refuse to believe this was because of Celine Dion’s contribution. I think the woman has one of the most horrible voices I have ever heard, and listening to My Heart Will Go On is literally painful for me.

Is this really supposed to be the love song of all love songs? Seriously, if this is love I would much rather do without.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

TV Shows you should own on DVD: Six Feet Under

Six Feet Under is probably one of the best television dramas ever made. OK Maybe it was not the best TV show, but it was definitely a show that I enjoyed more than most other TV series I have ever watched.

You probably already know what I am talking about, but if not, let me tell you just what you have been missing, and just why you should go out and buy the entire show on DVD right away.

Six Feet Under was created by Alan Ball and aired between 2001 and 2005, lasting a total of five seasons. The show revolves around a family-run funeral home, Fisher & Sons, and explores the lives of the Fisher family following the death of their husband and father.

The main characters include brothers David and Nate, who start running the family business after their father dies. These brothers could not be more different, with David being very serious, introverted, uptight and closeted, and Nate being extroverted, good natured and not taking life too serious.

Then there is Claire, their younger sister, who spends a lot of time drinking, doing drugs and hating life, as many college kids do. Mother Ruth finally, is a very peculiar woman, one minute she is very uptight and withdrawn and the next she is screaming and crying, wondering what the hell is wrong with their family. I love that woman.

At first glance, the show may appear as a conventional family drama, however, the show distinguishes itself by its strong focus on the topic of death, which is explored in many different ways.

Each episode begins with a death, which usually sets the tone of the episode. Besides dealing with death, Six feet under also has a strong dosage of dark humour running throughout the series. This is not everyone’s cup of tea, but personally I love it.

A recurring plot device consists of a character having an imaginary conversation with the person who died at the beginning of the episode. Sometimes, the conversation is with other recurring dead characters, mainly the father who has passed away.

This is sometimes also used where a real conversation between two living characters slips into the imaginary and becomes unrealistic. Again, I love this sort of thing, but some say it is an acquired taste.

Besides Ruth, the mother of the family, one of my favourite characters is Brenda, Nathan’s girlfriend. She is very hot and also a little insane. Ok maybe not insane, unusual if you will, complete with a sex addiction and a very dysfunctional family.

If you are interested in more than your average kind of TV drama series, and you like to ponder death, dark humour or magical realism, this show just might be for you.

Hell, even if you just like to see your own dysfunctional family portrayed on the screen, this might be the show for you. Go buy those DVDs now, I promise you will not regret it.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Nobody’s working

Since I’ve been living in this town I have noticed something, that at first I thought I was just imagining, but now I am convinced I am right: Nobody works in this town!

It’s true. Apart from my roommate and the people in the shops, no one seems to have a job around here. Whenever I go out the streets (and buses, and shops, and everywhere really) are filled with old people, stay-at-home mothers, disabled people and lazy dumb white trash.

I am not exaggerating, there honestly are way too many people here that do nothing all day. Yes, I know, for a while that included me too. I am not judging, I am merely observing.

How can a town have so many people that do not work? I am curious just at what keeps this town going.

We probably have the highest rate of disabled carts in the whole country. You know, they are not wheelchairs, but they are like fancy slow scooters for the disabled. There are so many of them in the city centre, sometimes it is hard to get around them.

In fact, they even made a new law now that prohibits more than two of those carts to be at the same place at the same time. I am not joking! That’s because all these old and disabled folk in their little carts are very social.

They used to stop in the middle of the street to chat to each other, totally blocking the streets for everyone else. And well, we couldn’t have that now could we? So now they aren’t allowed to hang in groups anymore, just like juvenile delinquents.

It’s an interesting town to say the least. Can’t wait to get the hell out of here.