A selection of my eurOut articles

I must have written hundreds of articles for eurOut since I started writing for them in September of 2008. Here is a selection of some of my favourites (see the next page for my Studying LesBians articles):

I used to recap Skins, I did all of Season 3 and Season 4. Season 3 I grew to love the show, but I was highly disappointed at Season 4. Here's my final recap (You can read all my recaps here):

Skins Season 4 Finale: A Happy Ending to an Awfully Bad Season.By Natazzz on Monday, March 22, 2010 - 19:56

To say the season finale of Skins wasn't very good is an understatement.
It was a badly written, unbelievable, random and rushed ending to an already badly written, unbelievable, random season, so at least in that way it was very fitting. Perhaps the writers got lazy, perhaps 8 episodes just isn't enough to tell any stories properly or perhaps I'm just old and expect too much from a teen drama.

Whatever the case may be, I thought the season finale was bad. The only good thing about it was Naomi's speech at the end, but even that was ruined a little by it coming totally out of the blue, which didn't help believability. 

Previously on Skins: Emily moved in with Naomi and then she found out Naomi had been cheating on her with Sophia, who ended up committing suicide. Then Emily got back at Naomi by doing some drugs and making out with a random girl at a BBQ they were throwing. As if that wasn't enough, Emily started seeing another girl, all the while the two of them continued to live together and pretended nothing is wrong.

So what exactly happened in the season finale? A lot of storylines, regardless of how meaningful or plausible, needed to be finished. If you think that means things get resolved or are explained, think again. 

Everything just gets wrapped up really nicely and the writers try to fool us they all live happily ever after, even though we all know if there's one thing those Skins kids are not, is happy.

The episode starts with Emily waking up next to Mandy, the girl she was on a date with last episode. Uhoh. Emily doesn't seem too happy about it. 

Meanwhile, Thomas is busy running, we see Cook shagging someone, Katie is visiting Effy in the mental institution and Panda is being chased by two psychiatric nurses while she's on a jumping ball. Why? Because it's Skins and nothing ever makes sense. It is very amusing though:

Back at Naomi's, Emily is still trying to figure out what happened between her and the girl in bed with her, when Naomi comes home. She bursts into the bedroom and starts chatting excitedly about how she bought eggs. Emily is just standing there looking worried, waiting for the moment Naomi finds out there's a strange girl in their bed.

Turns out Naomi isn't surprised at all, and the reason Emily and Mandy were in bed together was because they were too drunk and Naomi slept on the couch. Naomi then goes to look at Mandy's breasts and declares it's a shame she's straight and asks Emily, "Is this bad?" 

I don't know what exactly she's referring to, but YES, this scene (and plot line) is indeed very bad, I don't even know where to start. 

Almost as bad is the next scene in which we have to watch Panda sing a song for Effy for at least 3 minutes. Dear writers, you couldn't have used these minutes to actually try and tell a story?

I'm starting to think things can't possibly get any worse, but I shouldn't have let that thought out, because next we see Cook and Naomi in Naomi's kitchen listening to Cook's hook up being very loud on the toilet. WTF?!

Upstairs Emily and Mandy are talking about what's going on between them, and of course, they have to do this semi-naked. Emily is saying nothing is really going on and Mandy disagrees and tries to seduce Emily, saying she'd take her to Mexico and, "make love to her on the beach."

Too bad they chose the world's worst actress for this role, as she delivers all of her lines without any kind of emotion. In fact, I don't think she's even capable of any facial expressions, other than indifference.

Then way too much of the season finale is wasted by a boring scene at Naomi's house. For some reason, almost the entire Skins cast is there (convenience?). They are all sitting around not enjoying themselves and Naomi is trying to get everyone drunk even though it is still morning.

No one wants any drinks, but Naomi does and she proceeds to get totally drunk. Then she wants to have fun and ends up dancing with Mandy, while Emily is just sitting there. Naomi just keeps on talking crap and eventually Emily thinks it's enough and runs off crying. Meanwhile, Mandy makes a move on Naomi. WTF?!

At night, Naomi and Emily are in bed together. Emily tells Naomi "I love you", to which Naomi replies "Don't lie." Ouch. Naomi then gets out of bed and puts some clothes on. "My mom is coming back next week, maybe you should go", Naomi declares, and walks out of the bedroom. Double ouch.

Don't these girls ever talk? You know, more than making accusations or declarations. Things aren't looking very good and we only have half an episode left for them to live happily ever after. 

Before this happens we are treated to a number of ridiculous scenes. The police arrive en force to arrest Cook, but he escapes through the window. He decides to hide in Freddie's shed, where for no particular reason pretty much all of the Skins cast show up. Instead of worrying what might have happened to Freddie, they decide to have a party instead.

Not just any party, no they actually do choreographed dance moves. WTF?!
Meanwhile Naomi is home alone and on the phone to her mother. I think this screenshot literally sums up the Skins stories: What a mess.

Back at the party in Freddie's shed the most unbelievable, yet very welcome, plotline unfolds. Naomi shows up to give the speech of the season to Emily:
I loved you from the first moment I saw you. I think I was 12. It took me 3 years to pluck up the courage to speak to you. I was so scared of the way I felt, you know, loving a girl. So I learned how to be a sarcastic bitch to make me feel normal.

I screwed guys to make it go away, but it didn't work. When we got together it scared the shit out of me, because you were the one person that could ruin my life.

I pushed you away, made you think things were your fault, but really, I was just terrified of pain. I screwed that girl, Sophia, to kind of spite you for having that hold on me. And I'm a total F-ing coward, because I got these… these tickets to Goa for us 3 months ago. I didn't want to be a slave to the way I feel about you.

Can you understand? You were trying to punish me back, and it's horrible. It's so horrible, because really, I'd die for you. I love you. I love you so much, it's killing me.

Wow. I'm impressed, so is Emily. They cry and kiss and live happily ever after. Well, I think that's pretty much the idea. A bit out of the blue and an easy fix to their storyline, but a happy end is a happy end. Right?!

That's it for Skins and Naomily. So what do you think? Are you as critical of the storylines as me or are you just happy Naomily got their happy ending? Let us know in the comments.


I really enjoy writing my List are hot column every month. They are fun and they are also extremely popular (the one about AfterEllen's Hot100 list reaching over 80,000 views as I type this). Here's one of those columns:

Lists Are Hot: 11 Great lesBian movies you should watch. By Natazzz on Thursday, October 14, 2010 - 22:27

Lists Are Hot is a monthly column for all those that love lists. This month I want to share with you some of my favourite lesBian movies.

After talking about the worst lesBian movies last month, I thought I'd look on the positive side this time and tell you which lesBian movies I think are really great.

Over the years I have seen many, many lesBian movies and even though some might have been bad, boring or in other ways disappointing, some were actually really enjoyable to watch.

This is a very subjective list, so feel free to disagree. In no particular order, here are 11 lesBian movies (11, because I couldn't decide which one to leave out) I think you should watch:

11. Itty Bitty Titty Committee (US, 2007)
I really like Itty Bitty Titty Committee, because it's just a nice, fun lesbian movie. There's not nearly enough lesbian movies out there that are just fun. It has a great plot, likeable characters, great acting, a fun soundtrack and it stars lots of actors that I like (Carly Pope, Clea Duvall, Melanie Lynskey).

It tells the story of Anna, a young, shy girl who doesn’t really know what kind of excitement life has to offer. She comes into contact with a group of radical feminist women who run a little guerrilla group called Clits in Action (CIA).
They try to show everything that is wrong (read women unfriendly) with the world by sneaking around at night and defacing public and private property with spray painted messages against the established. It really changes her life in the way that you can only be changed when you are still young.

Even though the topic of the movie is rather serious and perhaps the message a little heavy handed, I thought IBTC was a fun watch. It is a great portrayal of what it must be like to be part of a movement like this.

10. All over me (US, 1997)
A movie that definitely cannot be described as light and fun is All over me. This teen movie from the 1990's shows the harsh and depressing reality of being a gay teen, including one gay boy actually getting killed.

What I love about this movie, is that amidst all that homophobia and hard life stuff, there's a beautiful, realistic love story. Or not even a love story, just two young girls realising they really like each other. Claude is madly in love with her straight, best friend Ellen, but throughout the movie she ends up falling for a girl who actually likes her back, Lucy (played by a much younger, very cute Leisha Hailey).

9. Heavenly creatures (New Zealand, 1994)
Heavenly Creatures tells the story of two teenage girls who live in a kind of fantasy world and have a very close friendship. Slowly this friendship evolves in something more.

Their parents aren't two pleased about their relationship, and in order to be able to stay together they decide to kill one of their mothers. It's kind of creepy, even more so if you realize this film is based on a true story.

The main characters are played by Kate Winslet and Melanie Lynsky, when they were still young and innocent looking, and the movie is directed by Peter Jackson (from Lord of the Rings). It's a really good movie that I recommend you check out, unless the murder part puts you off.

8. The Edge of Heaven (Auf der anderen Seite) (Germany, 2007)
My next pick is not a typical lesbian movie, but it does feature a prominent, but matter of fact, lesbian relationship. Auf der anderen Seite (the Edge of heaven) is about the differences between everyday life in Germany and Turkey. It tells the story of Nejat who after his father dies, goes to Turkey to search for Ayten, the daughter of his father’s prostitute girlfriend.

What he doesn’t know is that Ayten is a political activist who has already left Turkey and is currently in Germany. In Germany Ayten meets Lotte, a lovely German do-gooder, who after discovering Ayten has no money or a place to stay, offers her to move in with her and her mother. Lotte’s mother isn’t too pleased by this, and I cannot really blame her.

Quickly a strong bond forms between Lotte and Ayten and the two of them embark on a relationship. Then Ayten is arrested and deported back to Turkey where she ends up in prison. Lotte decides to follow her to Turkey and try to get her released.

This is a really good quality movie that just happens to have a lesbian plotline. An added bonus if you will, as Auf der anderen Seite is a great and interesting movie even without the lesbian storyline. It’s not a light movie and it might make you want to shout at your screen a few times, but I promise it will not leave you indifferent.

7. Chutney Popcorn (US, 1999)
As much as I complain about the lesbian pregnancy storylines in movies, there is actually one movie on the subject I really like.

Chutney Popcorn tells the story about lesbian Reena, who's sister Rita can't have children and she then offers to have a baby for her. Of course her girlfriend isn't very happy about this, especially when the sister decides she no longer wants a baby.

To make the story a little more interesting, the Indian background of Reena and Rita plays a big part in this film, including specific traditions and lots of yummy food. It nicely shows that no matter what your family is like, we all want the same thing; for us and our loved ones to be happy.

What I like most about this movie is that it's just a really nice movie and even though the subject might seem a little far fetched, the relationships portrayed in the movie seem very realistic.

6. But I'm a Cheerleader (US, 1999)
This movie is a parody on so-called sexual reorientation camps and is probably not everyone's cup of tea. It is at times all a bit much, but I really like the idea behind it and, more importantly, I think the love story between Megan and Graham is very cute.

In But I"m a cheerleader, Megan gets send to a sexual reorientation camp by her friends and parents to be made "normal". Of course, the sexual reorientation camp is the gayest thing you have ever seen. Even if she wasn't convinced yet she's a lesbian, the cute Graham (played by Clea Duvall) soon makes her realise she's never going to be straight.

This movie was produced by Jamie Babbitt, who also worked on Itty Bitty Titty Committee.

5. If these walls could talk 2 (US, 2000)
If these walls could talk 2 consists of 3 different 30 minute stories about being a lesbian, each in a different time. The first is set in the fifties, the second in the seventies and the final part is set in the nineties.

It shows very nicely how far we've come, and also how lesbianism is something of all times, but each time has it's specific struggles and themes.

I have watched the DVD of If these walls could talk many times and I have to say I love all parts for different reasons. The first part is heart breaking, the second part is very hot and the third part paints a great pictures of a modern lesbian couple.

Here's a scene from the second part, starring Michelle Williams and Cloe Sevigny:

4. Unveiled (Fremde Haut) (Germany, 2005)
Unveiled is about an Iranian woman named Fariba who has to flee her country to avoid prosecution. Fariba tries to seek asylum in Germany, but she is denied residency. To avoid being send back to Iran and risk being killed for being a lesbian, she takes on the identity of an Iranian man from the refugee camp.

Now Fariba finds herself living as a man in a small town in Germany.
She knows the only way she will be able to stay in the country long term is if she can arrange for some fake identity papers. Fake papers cost a lot of money and therefore she finds herself a job in a cabbage factory.

It is here where she meets Anne, a beautiful blonde German woman who catches her eye from day one. They get on famously and slowly fall for each other. Of course, it is only a matter of time until Anne will find out Fariba’s true identity.

Fremde Haut is about the harsh reality of life as a queer Iranian, as well as the hard life of asylum seekers in general. Yet at the same time, it is also a love story. It makes you think, about life and about how we as a society decide to treat other people. Bust most of all, it makes you realize that love is love no matter what form it takes.

3. Tipping the velvet (UK, 2002)
What can I say about Tipping the velvet that hasn't been said before? I discovered the adaptation of Sarah Waters' novel of the same name by accident one night on the BBC back in 2002. It was a very pleasant surprise.

Tipping the Velvet makes historic dramas fun, for me mainly because of the lesbian element. Tipping the velvet tells the interesting life story of Nan King, from Oyster girl to rent boy to theatre star. More importantly, it has some really hot sex scenes.

2. Imagine me and you (UK, 2005)
Imagine me and you tells the story of Rachel (played by Piper Perabo) who is about to marry her long term boyfriend Heck, whom she has always thought of as the love of her life. That’s when she meets Luce (played by the lovely Lena Heady) and everything changes.

Rachel and Luce immediately hit it off and become really good friends. Soon it becomes clear that their feelings for one another go much deeper than mere friendship.

Rachel starts to question her sexuality and soon she will have to make some tough choices between her familiar life with her husband and a chance of happiness with Luce.

What I love about this film, besides that it’s just a really good romantic 
comedy, is that it has a very prominent lesbian storyline, yet the storyline is treated as part of the movie and it’s not the entire movie. Moreover, I like that the subject of being gay isn’t treated as something awful or problematic.

1. Show me love (Fucking Amal) (Sweden, 1998)
My number one pick has to be Show me love, simply because it's such a cute teen love story. This Swedish film is about two seemingly different teenage girls who go to the same high school in a little town called Amal and end up falling in love with each other. Agnes is a shy girl with not many friends and a huge crush on Elin the most popular girl in school.

Elin gets dared into kissing Agnes, then runs off laughing, leaving Agnes both humiliated and heartbroken. In fact, in true dramatic lesbian teen fashion she decides things are so bad that she is going to kill herself.

She is all set with a set of razors in her hand and depressing music playing in the background, when Elin shows up again to apologize for kissing her.

Soon the girls realize that they quite like each other, but before they are ready to openly admit this to each other, themselves, and to the world, they have to overcome a few obstacles, including boys, family members and the nightmare that is called high school.

Fucking Amal is not just a love story, even though watching these girls figuring out they like each other is one of the cutest things I have ever seen. It’s a movie about finding out you are queer in high school, or perhaps it’s just a movie about what it’s like to be in high school: trying to fit in, trying to figure out who you are, and of course there is lots of self-created drama.

So what do you think of my favourite lesBian movies? Do you like my choices or not at all? Which movies are missing from the list?

Now and then I moved away from entertainment and played the 'outraged lesbian', like when I wrote about the homophobic conference taking place in Amsterdam:

Homophobic World Congress of Families kicks off in Amsterdam.

By Natazzz on Monday, August 10, 2009 - 16:09

Watching Saskia’s vlog about the Amsterdam Canal Pride, reading about gay tolerance in sports or TV programmes with very queer content might give you the impression that Amsterdam and all of the Netherlands is a tolerant, accepting, utopical kind of place for everything that is gay. Think again. The Netherlands is not so much pro gay, as it is liberal and tolerant towards just about anything. What am I talking about?
Today in Amsterdam the World Congress of Families kicks off, a Christian conference organised by very strong believers of traditional families or what they like to call ‘the natural family’. By natural they of course mean one man and one woman, as well as a certain number of kids. The emphasis of the conference will be on the importance of strict family values, which would be fine, if it did not have a very strong anti-feminism, anti-sexuality, anti-abortion, anti-EU, and especially anti-gay focus.
I had a look on their website, and I just could not believe some of the things I was reading. By the way, do not visit their website, unless you are not easily upset and genuinely want to find out more. I’ll give you some of the highlights instead.
They have some principles they live by, including a very rigid view on sexuality:
“Sexuality is ordered for the procreation of children and the expression of love between husband and wife in the covenant of marriage. Marriage between a man and a woman forms the sole moral context for natural sexual union. Whether through pornography, promiscuity, incest or homosexuality, deviations from these created sexual norms cannot truly satisfy the human spirit. They lead to obsession, remorse, alienation, and disease.”
What I find interesting is how they always lump everything together, like homosexuality, pornography and incest are all the same. Then again, if you truly believe sex is only for procreation, I guess I can understand everything else might bother you.
What bothers me is that reading their website feels like you’re being brainwashed, and what is even more worrying is that they have pages of ‘scientific evidence’ to back up all their claims. They actually link to stuff that says telling kids to use condoms is medical misinformation, why feminism is wrong, the dangers of same-sex marriage and even claiming there is a link between abortion and getting cancer. I could go on and on, but you get the general idea.
I feel that everyone has the right to believe what they want and live their life the way they want to, and if they have to hold a big conference to spread their crap, go right ahead. But why does it have to take place in Amsterdam of all places? And more importantly, why is the Dutch government actually supporting this?
Yes, you read that correctly. The Dutch government might not officially support or agree with the conference, but we have our MP of Youth and Family Rouvoet (of the Christian Party) giving the opening speech of this conference. The official statement about this is that he will speak in name of the Dutch government and will actually try to defend our gender neutral marriage laws. Try to being the key words here, as his spokesperson already said it will not be a plea for same sex parenting.
He is not the only Dutch MP who will be speaking at this conference, despite the many protests from inside and outside of the Netherlands that participating in this event, even when advocating a different opinion, is sending out the wrong message to the world. Some might think the Dutch government is saying extreme negative views about homosexuality are ok.
Luckily, other people have more sense than the Dutch government. Six Dutch researchers who had initially agreed to participate at this conference, dropped out once they found out about the gay-unfriendly tone of the conference. 

You might wonder what exactly this gay-unfriendly tone means. Well, the organisers had initially planned a workshop entitled “How to prevent homosexuality” which they were forced to remove from the official program after there was too much protest about it. However, they still have plenty of ‘good stuff’ left, like a talk by Slovak MEP Anna Zaoborsla, who once said that AIDS is God’s way of punishing homosexuals.
Conferences like this one show us that we still have a long way to go. I don’t think there will ever be a time when there won’t be people who want to hold a conference like this, but the least we can hope for is less tolerance and support for these kinds of initiatives.
I also did a number of reviews over the years, including one of my favourite lesbian books:

Book review: Pages for you by Sylvia Brownrigg. 


Pages for you by Sylvia Brownrigg is one of my favourite lesbian novels. Actually, I would go as far as to say it is not just my favourite gay novel, but also one of the greatest books I have ever read. And I have read a lot of books, so that is really saying something.

It is the story of first love. About love at first sight, about that first time you kiss a girl, the first time you have sex wit her, and ultimately about that first betrayal and the first time you get your heart broken. 

Written after the fact, in diary form, it gives such a detailed and vivid description of a first lesbian relationship, it is at times almost painful to read. At least it was for me. It had me thinking about my own first crushes and relationships a lot, as if they happened only yesterday.

Pages for you tells the story of 17-year old Flannery, a freshman in college, who falls madly in love with a graduate student named Anne. She first sees Anne reading a book and thinks she is the most beautiful person she has every seen. Talk about love at first sight. 

It turns out Anne is actually teaching one of Flannery’s classes, and that is how the two get into contact. Flannery is totally intimidated by this beautiful and amazing older woman, and soon she becomes her pupil both inside and outside of the classroom.

Anne teaches Flannery all about life and love, and Flannery is eager to learn everything Anne has to teach her. As you can probably guess, things eventually start to fall apart. The naive little college freshman finds out the hard way that Anne is not as wonderful and perfect as she thought she was, and that first love never lasts forever. 

Just writing this down makes me recall certain parts of this novel, and especially the feelings it evoked at the time. It has been a few years since I read it, but I still get the same strong sense of excitement mixed with uneasiness, as I did when I first read it. It is hard to explain why, or perhaps I do not need to explain it at all. I guess it is just because this book touches on all those emotions involved in first love so well.

Especially when it comes to the intensity and the naivety. You cannot believe what you are feeling and experiencing, and you want it to last forever. You think the other person is feeling exactly the same way, but they don’t. Or they do, but somehow it just cannot last. And nothing hurts like the ending of your first lesbian relationship.

If you haven’t read Pages for you, you should. What are you waiting for? Go buy it now!

Finally, I want to share with you one of my recaps of Spanish show Los Hombres de Paco. This was probably the weirdest and most gruesome show I have ever recapped, or watched for that matter:

Los hombres de Paco recap: Episode 8.12 – the season finale AKA the bloodbath. By Natazzz on Thursday, July 16, 2009 - 20:25

Previously on LHDP:  Silvia and Pepa got married. It was all beautiful and lovely until some Italian Mafia guys showed up.
WARNING: This recap is no fun, light reading for several reasons. It might make you want to scream or cry.
The episode pretty much picks up where they left things last episode, right at Pepa and Silvia’s wedding ceremony. Everyone is happy and celebrating the new couple. Have a good look at these screencaps of Pepa and Silvia being all happy and in love, as you might need it to get through the rest of this recap.
There’s suspense music playing indicating that something bad is about to go down, as we watch more and more Mafia guys approaching the place of the wedding ceremony. Luckily, happiness is allowed to continue for just a little while longer.
Silvia throws her bouquet into the crowd and Rita catches it, while Pepa’s flowers are caught by Mariano. We hear a noise that sounds like shots being fired, but it turns out it’s only fire crackers. Talk about annoying foreboding.
Rita suggests one of the girls should give a speech, but Pepa says Don Lorenzo should give one instead. Don Lorenzo does and says he was the first to see them kissing together all those years ago during Silvia’s communion.
Then it’s Paco’s turn and he basically orders Pepa and Silvia to love each other and be happy. Then Lucas (Silvia’s former and Sara’s current husband) shows up and it isn’t awkward at all. He’s bought Silvia a beautiful bracelet and Pepa a huge gun. Yes, that’s what I’d get someone as a wedding present too.
It’s time for food so everyone goes to the dining room and sits down at a huge table where the celebration dinner is about to start. Because of everyone’s complicated love lives it’s not that easy to figure out who should be sitting where. More awkwardness ensues.
Pepa tries to make things less awkward by starting some conversation with Lucas about his stay in the United States. Then others start making random supposedly funny comments that don’t make things better at all. This is when Aitor decides to be a total jerk and make some dumb comment as he gets up from the table to get himself a beer. Lucas joins him, while Sara runs out for a smoke.
Meanwhile things at the dinner table are getting more and more tense. The happy wedding euphoria seems to be forgotten as everyone’s too preoccupied with all the other romantic involvements that are going on.
Everyone wonders what is taking Sara, Lucas and Aitor so long. Silvia decides to get up to investigate. That’s when we hear a gun shot. Everyone looks around to see what has happened, and it turns out that Silvia has been shot in her stomach.  Both Pepa and Don Lorenzo shout Silvia’s name.
That’s when bullets start flying all around and everyone ducks to the ground for cover. Saying there is a lot of gun fire is an understatement. The Mafia guys are shooting everything to pieces. Good thing Lucas got Pepa a gun as she can really use one right now.
More shooting and more people getting shot, although mainly bad guys and waiters so far. Time for damage control. Pepa gives her gun to Montoya and helps Don Lorenzo take Silvia out of the dining room and into the cellar. They make her lie down so they can check her wound.
Silvia being a doctor is advising them how to best deal with her injuries. She tells Pepa to find some scissors so they can cut open her wedding dress. Don Lorenzo starts cutting away at the now very blood covered wedding dress. It doesn’t look good.
Silvia asks for a mirror so she can look at the hole in her stomach. She tells Rita all the stuff that she needs for Don Lorenzo to operate on her. While Rita goes to find the things they need, Pepa gives Silvia some rum and Don Lorenzo checks the first aid kit.
Don Lorenzo gives Silvia something that should pass as a local anaesthetic, all the while listening to Silvia giving him instructions on how to operate on her and get the bullet out. She even has time to make a joke about the wedding cake and to tell Don Lorenzo he will do great as she knows how good he is at carving a turkey. Who says you can’t have fun while you’re laying on the floor bleeding to death?
Others are shot too, but how cares, Silvia is hurt! Mariano comes up with the brilliant idea to go talk to the Mafia guys to make them stop shooting. He is told that that is never going to work, because it is the Mafia after all. They decide to go outside and shoot everything that moves.
It looks like Silvia has passed out. Pepa is shaking and crying. Don Lorenzo grabs hold of her and tells her to pull it together. They talk about how neither of them can imagine a life without Silvia. Now they are both crying.
Pepa says she can’t deal with this, doesn’t want to deal with seeing the person she loves more than anything lying there bleeding to death. She is scared and says she can’t do it, but Don Lorenzo tells her they have to make sure she wakes up so Silvia can tell them how to remove the bullet.
That’s when Silvia opens her eyes. Yep, she’s not dead yet. She starts advising her dad bout how to use the razor to cut her open. Don Lorenzo is shaking too much and Pepa decides to take over trying to cut the bullet out of Silvia. Not exactly the sort of thing you imagine doing to your wife on the wedding day. Pepa kisses Silvia softly before she grabs the blade and starts cutting into her.
Meanwhile there is still more shooting going on between the wedding guests and the Mafia. Lots of shots are fired, people getting shot and going down left and right. It is gruesome and brutal, but who cares, let’s go back to Pepa and Silvia and see how they are doing.
Pepa is cutting in Silvia’s stomach and Silvia is telling her she needs to go deeper. Silvia is about to lose consciousness again, so Don Lorenzo asks her to tell him about the honeymoon. Silvia talks about the honeymoon and how beautiful it is going to be.
When Pepa is about to grab for the bullet in Silvia’s abdomen, Silvia starts to panic and tells her no. She starts to cry and thanks Pepa, saying she has done very well.
Silvia asks them to help her up and to hold her in their arms. She asks Don Lorenzo if he remembers the song he used to sing to her when she was little that always made her fall asleep.
Don Lorenzo starts singing the song and Pepa and Silvia join in. Meanwhile everywhere people are dying and crying. It’s heart breaking and it seems to last forever. To say I am not the sentimental type is an understatement, but even I am crying at this point.

They continue singing as Silvia dies in their arms. Pepa’s scream is devastating. Pepa and Don Lorenzo hold her as they cry.
The season finale of Los hombres de Paco ends with four main characters shot dead, including Silvia. WTF? LHDP writers! There are different ways to make a character leave a show other than with the most violent, gruesome, painfully dragged on death scene ever. They have taken the meaning of “dead lesbian” to a whole new level.
And just in case you had any hope left that maybe these deaths weren’t as final as they looked, they end the episode with a montage of scenes from the four main characters who have passed away. We see Silvia in better times, smiling a lot and being in love with Pepa. Perhaps that’s how we should remember her.
Next time on LHDP: They haven’t started filming the next season yet, but does it really matter? Call me crazy, but once they kill off half of the most awesomest lesbian TV couple ever I kind of stop caring.
Read all of my LHDP recaps here.
If you want to read all my eurOut articles, go to the website and search for Natazzz.