The worst songs of the nineties

Taste in music is a very subjective thing. What appeals to me might be something you cannot stand, and similarly songs that I hate could be the same songs that you are ecstatic about.

Still I believe that there are a few songs out there that are so unbelievably bad that we just have to agree on how much they suck.

Because there are just so many bad songs out there, I have limited it to the 1990’s.

Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice

This was a huge hit in the early 1990’s and it is probably in your record collection. Come on just admit it. I am not too ashamed to admit I own a copy of it too. Vanilla Ice was one of the first and probably one of the worst white rappers, who rapped about his tough gangster life.

It already did not sound very convincing and believable, but later we found out the guy had actually made up his whole though rapper past. I knew all the lyrics of this song by heart and even rapped them on a few occasions. My only excuse is I was young and did not know any better.

Hangin’ Tough by New Kids On The Block

Boy bands were the new thing in the 1990’s and one of the first and most successful boy bands were New Kids On The Block. They weren’t too bad as far as boy bands go, but Hangin’ Tough must be one of the worst songs ever recorded.

Why is it so bad? Mainly because just as with Vanilla Ice the topic and the lyrics of this song are so ridiculous. Here you have five cute little squeaky-clean boys singing about how tough they are. Not just tough, but arrogant too.

“We’re gonna put you in a trance with a funky song” Seriously?

Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex

In the nineties we would dance to just about anything, no matter how bad it was. Weird and dumb lyrics seem to be especially popular. One of the worst acts to come out of Scandinavia was Rednex, who had a huge hit with Cotton Eye Joe.

The best way to describe it is probably as a weird cowboy country techno song. I remember it having the most retarded lyrics ever, a lot of yeehaws, and a guy singing in a horrible American accent. Do not even get me started on the video.

Barbie Girl by Aqua

The late 1990’s were the time of bad kiddy dance numbers of which one of the worst was probably Barbie Girl by Aqua. It had great lyrics like “I’m a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world”, and they attempted to make Barbies appear very sexual, which is creepy and wrong all on its own.

This Norwegian duo went on to have a few more dumb dance numbers like this, but Barbie Girl was by far the worst song they ever brought out. Of course it was also their biggest hit, because these things seem to go together.

Did you know the YouTube video of this song has over 20 million views? Ridiculous.

My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion : Over 25 million views

Besides bad techno-pop the late 1990’s also brought us one of the most horrible songs ever recorded. My heart will go on was the theme song of the blockbuster movie Titanic whose soundtrack sold millions of copies.

I refuse to believe this was because of Celine Dion’s contribution. I think the woman has one of the most horrible voices I have ever heard, and listening to My Heart Will Go On is literally painful for me.

Is this really supposed to be the love song of all love songs? Seriously, if this is love I would much rather do without.