Skins Season 4 recap - Episodes 1 and 2:

Skins is back with a fourth Season. After a great third Season in which cuties Emily and Naomi realised they were in love, expectations were high for this season.

However, if you thought the girls would get a chance to enjoy being happy and in love for a little while, you're wrong. Very wrong. Only continue reading if you don't need Naomily to be happy and/or if you like drama.

Episode one: Thomas

The first episode starts of with all the Skins teenagers drunk, drugged, or both, at a nightclub. Naomi and Emily are also there, and they're busy making out.

So far things are looking pretty good, but there's a drugged and confused looking girl (that we've never seen before) walking around the club. Knowing Skins, this probably means something bad is going to happen next. And yes, I was right. The girl starts walking up the stairs of the balcony, climbs on top of the railing and jumps off.

The suicide pretty much sets the mood for the rest of the episode: dark and depressing.

The next day the police are at the college to speak to everyone who was at the club. Besides Thomas (who works at the club), no one really seems to care that much that one of their peers has just died.

Emily doesn't get why they are being treated like criminals, because they don't even know her and why should they be responsible if some kid decides to off themselves. Charming.

She quickly switches the topic to Effy, who no one really seems to want to talk about. JJ sums is up with, "Effy's gone and we're happy. The status of the tribe is protected. We're happy, right?" This bunch couldn't be more unhappy if they tried, they just haven't realised it yet.

A lot of messed up stuff happens next that we don't really care about (Cook gets punched in the face and Thomas cheats on Panda with some church choir chick). What is noteworthy is that we find out that the suicide girl didn't get the drugs she was on from Cook (as everyone expects), but from Naomi, who's very worried Emily will find out.

Uhoh. This cannot be good. Continue reading about Episode 2 to find out I am right about this.

Episode two: Emily

In stark contrast to the first episode, episode two is filled with Naomily goodness. At least, it starts out pretty good.

Emily is walking around almost naked in Naomi's house. She's looking around, pausing to enjoy Naomi's childhood photos. Basically, she's happy and in love and without a care in the world. The postman rings the bell and Emily puts on her jacket to open the door and sign for a package.

The package is a gift from Naomi, who cannot help but cry when she gives it to Emily. Perhaps she's crying because of a bad conscience or maybe she's just crying because the safety goggles she's given Emily are so damn ugly.

They decide to try out the new safety goggles by going for a ride on Naomi's scooter. It's all very cute. They stop at Emily's house, where her dad is being weird and in need of hugs, whereas her mom is dismissing her relationship with Naomi. She's suggesting Emily looks into universities, even though she's already told her she's going to Mexico with Naomi next year.

When they arrive at the college the police want to question them some more, because they heard they knew the suicide girl – who we find out is called Sophia. Naomi starts blatantly lying, saying they didn't know Sophia at all and were only at the party a very short time.

Emily goes along with it, but afterwards asks Naomi what that was all about. Naomi doesn't want to talk about it, but then admits she was the one who sold Sophia the drugs. Her excuse for being a drug dealer is that she needed the money to buy Emily those ugly goggles. I'm thinking there are better ways than selling drugs to show your girlfriend you love her.

Of course it doesn't take Emily long to figure out that the one who gave Naomi the drugs in the first place was Cook. She runs over to confront him in what turns into the butchest yet cutest scene ever.

Cook doesn't understand what the big deal is, as no one has any idea it was them, and as long as everyone keeps their mouths shut there shouldn't be a problem. When he leaves Naomi tells Emily to, "Mind your own f-ing business, for once." Emily replies with, "Yeah, sorry." Since when is that any way to talk to your girlfriend? I guess in the world of Skins anything goes.

Emily won't let it go and decides to visit Sophia's house to find out more about the girl. She's pretending to be someone called Nancy and after talking to Sophia's mom, she has a look in Sophia's room.

The room is filled with a lot of drawings, mainly of naked ladies and women kissing. I guess that's how the producers/writers of the show want to make clear Sophia was gay. Emily is looking through an university guide with a key and envelope inside. That's when Sophia's brother storms in and asks her if she was Sophia's girlfriend. He also says he's convinced Sophia didn't commit suicide because she didn't say goodbye to him.

Emily leaves, taking the university guide with her. In it she discovers a photo of Sophia and Naomi at an open day. Uhoh.

She goes to visit her mom at the salon, where she finds out her mom has told her co-worker Emily has a boyfriend named JJ. When she confronts her mom about this, her mom is being all dismissive, saying Emily is too young to know she's gay and seriously suggests she should go travelling without Naomi because she would just get in the way.

When Emily tells her Naomi is her girlfriend and she should mind her own business, her mom goes one step further and offers Emily a thousand pounds if she goes travelling without Naomi. Wow, do parents still do this? On television that is, I've never heard of anyone in the real world actually trying to bribe their kids to drop their girlfriends.

Emily tells her mom to, "Shove it up your tits" and storms off. Charming, but well done.

Then there's a scene between Freddie and Effy that we don't really care about (She says she missed him, he confesses him and Cook caught Chlamydia of the same girl. Charming, once again). Emily joins Freddie and asks him about him and Effy, even though it's clear she's really talking about her and Naomi.

Naomi is sitting in class when Emily confronts her with the picture of Naomi and Sophia at the open day. They decide to go off somewhere to discuss it. Emily wants to know why Naomi didn't tell her she knew Sophia.

Naomi: I met her once, at an open day.

Emily: What open day?

Naomi: It was an open day. What does it matter?

Emily: We're going travelling next year. We decided!

Naomi: You decided. Look, I went to an open day. I met a girl. We talked. That's it.

Emily: You should've told me!

Naomi: Well, how could I without telling you where I met her? I didn't want a referendum on our relationship over a stupid open day!

Emily: Did you know she was gay?

Naomi: I met her once.

Emily: Did you F her?

Naomi: No! You think I'd shag some random girl behind your back?

Emily: I'm not saying you did it.

Naomi: Well, what are you saying?

Emily: I'm just asking!

Naomi: Why are you acting like this?

If I were Emily I would be rather pissed around now, but obviously I am way too old to identify with a 17 year old. Emily says she's going to find out if Naomi has been lying and lets Naomi tag along. I'm confused. Why is this a "fun" thing to go do together?

The key Emily stole turns out to be from Sophia's Cadet locker, so they go to Cadet school (or wherever it is that Cadets go) to find out what's in there. Inside they find an entire Naomi shrine, complete with photos and pictures and a little alter. It even includes Naomi's old toothbrush and some food wrappers. It's seriously creepy.

There's also a locked wooden box inside the locker, which they decide to take with them. Just then some Cadets enter the hallway and Naomi and Emily decide to hide in a supply closet. Naomi is shocked, exclaiming, "She stalked me!" To which Emily replies that Naomi is very stalkable. Then they decide to have sex in the supply closet.

Once again I find myself confused about the way these girls act. Who wants to have sex with their lying (and possibly cheating) girlfriend just after you find out the girl she met was obsessed with her? And in a supply closet? Did any of you ever have sex in supply closets when you were teenagers?

Anyway, Emily and Naomi proceed to have sex and it's all very cute and it especially goes really fast, because none of the Skins teenagers ever need much of foreplay.

The next day there's a family dinner at Emily's, Katie has brought along her new boyfriend, while Emily wasn't allowed to bring Naomi. Mom has big news as she's bought the salon she works at, then dad reveals that's bad timing as he's now unemployed. Meanwhile Emily and Katie's little brother is sitting there in a dress and admits he wants to shag Naomi. Such a messed up family.

Emily agrees with me and decides she's moving out. She packs a bag and heads over to Naomi.

Naomi is a bit surprised when Emily shows up declaring she's moving in. She's wondering if maybe they should've discussed it first, but Emily says she really needed to leave. Naomi finally agrees Emily can stay, saying the cutest thing ever, "It'll be great. You can be my pyjamas". Awww.

Then for no reason that makes sense, they decide to dress up as stereotypically Mexican men, complete with Sombreros and big fake moustaches. Seriously? And because this is Skins they start drinking until they are complete drunk.

They go to a party, which Naomi thinks is rubbish and that they, "should go back to ours." Emily asks, "Where?" and Naomi repeats, "Ours" and grins. That ends the cuteness though, as all of a sudden Naomi seems more interested in talking and laughing with other girls than her girlfriend.

Emily decides to hide in the toilet, where she ends up getting cheered up by Cook while he's having a pee. You really cannot make this stuff up. They agree to dance to make themselves feel better, but this doesn't last long as Cook sees Effy make out with Freddie and he starts beating people up.

More completely implausible stuff happens when Emily and Naomi are back at Naomi's. Because Emily cannot sleep, she phones Sophia's brother and decides to meet him at the place where his sister killed herself. When they arrive at the club it turns out Naomi has followed them.

Emily hands Sophia's brother the box they found in the locker and he goes to the roof of the club to open it. Emily and Naomi follow him, Naomi begging Emily to leave it alone and go home. As if there is any chance Emily can just walk away now. Sophia's brother opens the box and inside he finds a graphic journal depicting all the details of what happened between Sophia and Naomi.

Sophia's brother drops the box and walks off, leaving Emily sitting on the edge of the roof. She stands up and walks a little further to the edge, quite dramatically.

Naomi: I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!

Emily: You ruined it! You don't want anyone to care! I could be dead in a second. Everything's…so…fragile. Didn't you realize that? We were special!

Naomi: I was scared.

Emily: You're always scared.

Luckily Emily doesn't jump, but that's about the only good thing I can say about this scene.

Back at her parents' house, Emily is crying in her father's arms, who tries to cheer her up by telling her he once cheated on her mother and it is not the end of the world. Emily isn't quite convinced, and rightfully so.

Emily walks back to Naomi's house, where there's a note on the door saying, "I'll do anything."

Emily looks up at the window and sees Naomi looking back at her. I think Emily is going to walk off, but instead she heads for the door. I think a happy ending isn't in the cards just yet, but I am trying to remain optimistic.

That lasted until I saw the teaser for Episode 3.

Next time: Episode 3 is all about Cook, so the teaser involves a lot of fighting and he can also be seen kissing…Naomi.

This post was first published on eurOut.