Inspired by a post from Lori entitled This is your life mini-Lori in which she writes a letter to herself as a little kid, I felt compelled to do the same.
Of course, I already know that my letter is going to look so different, especially because I really do not want to talk about work and careers all that much, but instead talk about who I am and about life in general. I hope it will at least be half as interesting.
If there is one thing I would want to say to little Natazzz – the little Natazzz from kindergarten, who was too shy and afraid to play with the other kids and who would rather pee her pants than use a strange toilet-it would be “it’s going to be alright”.
Change that, I would say “You might not believe me, but it’s going to be great. One day you are going to look at yourself and your life and say “Look at me now”.
It will be a long road though. Some parts of your life are going to be particularly difficult. This will have little to do with external factors, as all your life you will be blessed with relatively good fortune and great people around you. However, you will make life quite hard for yourself for a while.
Why? Who knows. It will take you a while to figure out how life works and especially how you work. Long after you finally know who you are, what you want and what makes you happy, and years after you have accepted you for you, you will learn that it is ok to be you.
Perhaps now that I am telling you these things, you can figure the latter part out a little quicker. I know, things take time, and you will be the kind of person that will always take some time to do things. You will find yourself lagging behind when you compare yourself to your friends and others your age, especially when it comes to all the social stuff.
Don’t worry about it so much, we all do things at our own pace. It will be a while before you realize that sometimes it is good to wait and you really don’t need to do things just because everyone else is doing them.
Trust me, not having kissed any boys is really not something you want to agonize over too much. Neither is wanting to kiss girls. Yes, I know, I am jumping ahead. Before you get to that point you will have spent years worrying about your body.
I wish I could say something to make your teenage years and early twenties a little easier, but good things will come from it too. Once you have figured it all out and have accepted you for you, you will be so much happier and content than all your peers who are still clueless about themselves.
But back to you little Natazz, as you sit there in kindergarten, too afraid to speak up, play with others or go to the toilet. The world really isn’t such a scary place. Trust me. Yes, there are a lot of things out there you cannot control and some people are mean, but you will be alright.
Maybe you can just try a little harder to interact with others a little sooner and you will see that they will all like you. And those that don’t really do not matter. Never don’t do something you really want to, because you think the other kids will think it’s stupid or weird.
I know you are not going to believe me, but there is going to be a time when you are going to embrace your weirdness and uniqueness, and you are going to know other great people who all have their own unusual and weird things that make them special.
Furthermore, one day you will no longer be shy and scared of the world. In fact, you will change into someone who’s very outgoing and talkative and no one will believe you when you tell them you used to be a shy introvert.
You will find your place in the world. It won’t be at all what you imagine growing up, but it will be the exact right place for you. And you will be happy.
Good luck little Natazzz. You are going to be just fine.