When I was little I always said I never wanted to get married or have kids. I just didn’t see the appeal or the point. I’m not sure whether or not that had anything to do with the husband part. Over the years I changed that perspective a little bit, not so much about the traditional family part, but when I became a teenager the idea of relationships did become more appealing.
Not that I had a clue about what a relationship was supposed to be like, but of course I had lots of ideas or more precisely, weird dream like expectations. Where do we get these ideas from? Surely not from watching our parents’ relationships?
Are we brainwashed with movie fairytales of wonderfully exciting amazing relationships? Or is it something more inherent, this deep desire or need to have this special bond with someone that goes beyond every other bond we have with the people around us?
Regardless of the answers to these questions, it’s true that we tend to approach relationships with a lot of preconceived notions and expectations of what it should be like. They do change over the years – either experience makes us more realistic or needs and ideas about relationships change.
I find romantic relationships very fascinating, especially when they either really work well or when they don’t work at all, but people still keep at it making the same mistakes over and over again. Of course I am talking about other people’s relationships here. Mine are not hardly as fascinating, nor am I able to reflect on them as objectively.
You can learn a lot from other people’s relationships. And not just how not to do things or to figure out what you do not want. Sometimes you also learn to appreciate other perspectives, different ways you can have connections with people, how you can make relationships work that might be very different to how most people do it.
Another thing that fascinates me is that sometimes the world seems to be divided into relationship and non-relationship people. With that I mean is that some people always seem to be in relationships. They are always dating or go from one boyfriend or girlfriend to the next.
Then there are people who are pretty much single most of the time. They might still have active romantic lives, but this usually doesn’t mean a lot of long term relationships. It always makes me wonder if this means two different kinds of people or if our lives just help remain the status quo.
For example, people who are single tend to have a lot of single friends and because they are single they spend a lot of time together. Whereas long term relationship people often seem to hang out with other couples, being very couply together.
Over time the relationship folks leave the single group and the single people stop hanging out with the couples and join the opposite group. Of course things aren’t really that black and white, but I think there is some truth in it.
In reality we can probably divide people in all sorts of categories and there are many different individual ways that people make their relationships work. Just as there are many different kinds or relationships.
Some people see things very black and white, as in you have friendships and there’s romantic relationships. I tend to think there’s a whole spectrum of possible relationships you can have with people. They can range from mere acquaintances to soul mates and everything in between.
As with most things, labels and categories do not really matter here. What matters is that whenever you meet someone that you think is awesome and they like your company too that is something very cool and special that should be treasured.