Previously on LHDP: Silvia and Pepa got married. It was all beautiful and lovely until some Italian Mafia guys showed up.
WARNING: This recap is no fun, light reading for several reasons. It might make you want to scream or cry.
The episode pretty much picks up where they left things last episode, right at Pepa and Silvia’s wedding ceremony. Everyone is happy and celebrating the new couple. Have a good look at these screencaps of Pepa and Silvia being all happy and in love, as you might need it to get through the rest of this recap.
There’s suspense music playing indicating that something bad is about to go down, as we watch more and more Mafia guys approaching the place of the wedding ceremony. Luckily, happiness is allowed to continue for just a little while longer.
Silvia throws her bouquet into the crowd and Rita catches it, while Pepa’s flowers are caught by Mariano. We hear a noise that sounds like shots being fired, but it turns out it’s only fire crackers. Talk about annoying foreboding.
Rita suggests one of the girls should give a speech, but Pepa says Don Lorenzo should give one instead. Don Lorenzo does and says he was the first to see them kissing together all those years ago during Silvia’s communion.
Then it’s Paco’s turn and he basically orders Pepa and Silvia to love each other and be happy. Then Lucas (Silvia’s former and Sara’s current husband) shows up and it isn’t awkward at all. He’s bought Silvia a beautiful bracelet and Pepa a huge gun. Yes, that’s what I’d get someone as a wedding present too.
It’s time for food so everyone goes to the dining room and sits down at a huge table where the celebration dinner is about to start. Because of everyone’s complicated love lives it’s not that easy to figure out who should be sitting where. More awkwardness ensues.
Pepa tries to make things less awkward by starting some conversation with Lucas about his stay in the United States. Then others start making random supposedly funny comments that don’t make things better at all. This is when Aitor decides to be a total jerk and make some dumb comment as he gets up from the table to get himself a beer. Lucas joins him, while Sara runs out for a smoke.
Meanwhile things at the dinner table are getting more and more tense. The happy wedding euphoria seems to be forgotten as everyone’s too preoccupied with all the other romantic involvements that are going on.
Everyone wonders what is taking Sara, Lucas and Aitor so long. Silvia decides to get up to investigate. That’s when we hear a gun shot. Everyone looks around to see what has happened, and it turns out that Silvia has been shot in her stomach. Both Pepa and Don Lorenzo shout Silvia’s name.
That’s when bullets start flying all around and everyone ducks to the ground for cover. Saying there is a lot of gun fire is an understatement. The Mafia guys are shooting everything to pieces. Good thing Lucas got Pepa a gun as she can really use one right now.
More shooting and more people getting shot, although mainly bad guys and waiters so far. Time for damage control. Pepa gives her gun to Montoya and helps Don Lorenzo take Silvia out of the dining room and into the cellar. They make her lie down so they can check her wound.
Silvia being a doctor is advising them how to best deal with her injuries. She tells Pepa to find some scissors so they can cut open her wedding dress. Don Lorenzo starts cutting away at the now very blood covered wedding dress. It doesn’t look good.
Silvia asks for a mirror so she can look at the hole in her stomach. She tells Rita all the stuff that she needs for Don Lorenzo to operate on her. While Rita goes to find the things they need, Pepa gives Silvia some rum and Don Lorenzo checks the first aid kit.
Don Lorenzo gives Silvia something that should pass as a local anaesthetic, all the while listening to Silvia giving him instructions on how to operate on her and get the bullet out. She even has time to make a joke about the wedding cake and to tell Don Lorenzo he will do great as she knows how good he is at carving a turkey. Who says you can’t have fun while you’re laying on the floor bleeding to death?
Others are shot too, but how cares, Silvia is hurt! Mariano comes up with the brilliant idea to go talk to the Mafia guys to make them stop shooting. He is told that that is never going to work, because it is the Mafia after all. They decide to go outside and shoot everything that moves.
It looks like Silvia has passed out. Pepa is shaking and crying. Don Lorenzo grabs hold of her and tells her to pull it together. They talk about how neither of them can imagine a life without Silvia. Now they are both crying.
Pepa says she can’t deal with this, doesn’t want to deal with seeing the person she loves more than anything lying there bleeding to death. She is scared and says she can’t do it, but Don Lorenzo tells her they have to make sure she wakes up so Silvia can tell them how to remove the bullet.
That’s when Silvia opens her eyes. Yep, she’s not dead yet. She starts advising her dad bout how to use the razor to cut her open. Don Lorenzo is shaking too much and Pepa decides to take over trying to cut the bullet out of Silvia. Not exactly the sort of thing you imagine doing to your wife on the wedding day. Pepa kisses Silvia softly before she grabs the blade and starts cutting into her.
Meanwhile there is still more shooting going on between the wedding guests and the Mafia. Lots of shots are fired, people getting shot and going down left and right. It is gruesome and brutal, but who cares, let’s go back to Pepa and Silvia and see how they are doing.
Pepa is cutting in Silvia’s stomach and Silvia is telling her she needs to go deeper. Silvia is about to lose consciousness again, so Don Lorenzo asks her to tell him about the honeymoon. Silvia talks about the honeymoon and how beautiful it is going to be.
When Pepa is about to grab for the bullet in Silvia’s abdomen, Silvia starts to panic and tells her no. She starts to cry and thanks Pepa, saying she has done very well.
Silvia asks them to help her up and to hold her in their arms. She asks Don Lorenzo if he remembers the song he used to sing to her when she was little that always made her fall asleep.
Don Lorenzo starts singing the song and Pepa and Silvia join in. Meanwhile everywhere people are dying and crying. It’s heart breaking and it seems to last forever. To say I am not the sentimental type is an understatement, but even I am crying at this point.
They continue singing as Silvia dies in their arms. Pepa’s scream is devastating. Pepa and
Don Lorenzo hold her as they cry.
The season finale of Los hombres de Paco ends with four main characters shot dead, including Silvia. WTF? LHDP writers! There are different ways to make a character leave a show other than with the most violent, gruesome, painfully dragged on death scene ever. They have taken the meaning of “dead lesbian” to a whole new level.
And just in case you had any hope left that maybe these deaths weren’t as final as they looked, they end the episode with a montage of scenes from the four main characters who have passed away. We see Silvia in better times, smiling a lot and being in love with Pepa. Perhaps that’s how we should remember here.
Next time on LHDP: They haven’t started filming the next season yet, but does it really matter? Call me crazy, but once they kill off half of the most awesomest lesbian TV couple ever I kind of stop caring.
This recap was first published on eurOut.