Saturday, May 30, 2009

One more reason to love Eliza Dushku


I like to tell people I am not good with subtlety and I prefer when people are just straight forward or direct, blunt even if necessary. And most of the time that is true. But just because I do not always get it – or want to get it – when someone is being all vague and I’m supposed to guess, does not mean I am clueless about what is going on. Far from it.

Whenever I meet someone I always get a very strong impression of them, be it positive or negative. I am not just talking about a first impression kind of thing, where you judge a book by its cover, even though I have been guilty of that sometimes.

What I am talking about is actually sensing what someone is about. This doesn’t work with everyone, but with most people I just know. I have met people and from the very first second I had such an adverse reaction to them (including me literary getting cold chills just by seeing someone), I just knew I should never have anything to do with them.

Of course, usually it’s less obvious than that and requires a little more time, but still, I generally always sense whether I like someone or not…or to put it more accurately, sense what they are about.

I can easily detect liars and BSers, so if someone’s just pretending, or trying too hard to be nice or polite or just lying through their teeth, I usually know. I also often do not care, but I still realize they are full of it.

A more positive example is that I also know when someone is just a generally nice and sincere person. It’s a feeling or a vibe that I’ve learned to trust. It’s not about meeting someone you LIKE, but recognizing someone is special.

These feelings I get are usually not very specific though…I can easily tell if someone likes me or not, but I am totally clueless to the details. So I won’t know someone is really into me unless they make that known explicitly.

I am better at picking up those details with others. Whenever I see two people together I can usually tell if they have a strong connection or not. I am not a mind reader, so I don’t know how they really feel, but I do sense there’s something there.

Good thing I am not a very nosey or judgmental person, because the strong connections I sense between people sometimes aren’t necessarily between those in a relationship together.

I could give you many more examples, but they would all illustrate that I sense a lot of things that are going on, sometimes it’s stronger than at other times, but it’s always a general feeling and it’s always there.

Why I am writing about this is because for a long time I thought this was all obvious and everyone felt this way. It took a while to realize that there are many people who are totally oblivious to what is going on around them.

I guess the official word they use for it is intuition, but I don’t really like that word. But it’s there, hiding inside of everyone. It might lay dormant, it might be very rusty, but you can train it and then use it.

Use it.

For me, one of the most important things in my life is to trust my intuition. I don’t always like what it’s telling me and often I don’t want to agree with it, but so far it has never let me down.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Lesbians’ negative obsession with bisexual women

When a few weeks back I wrote about how I don’t understand people’s obsessions with sexual orientation labels, my main point was that labels like gay or bisexual just indicate whether you like boys and/or girls and people shouldn’t make it so complicated.

I did not mean to imply that I think sexual orientation is always this black and white. I am pretty sure that for most of us it’s more like a continuum or perhaps even a scale that can flip in one direction or another.

I don’t want to talk about that, the continuous or fluid nature of sexuality. We are all sexual beings with feelings, needs and desires and they just happen to be directed at people of the same and/or opposite sex.

What always puzzles me is why queer women when they are among themselves cannot just be nice, but always have to mess things up. What do I mean by this? There are so many examples, I don’t even know where to start.

How about lesbians’ attitudes towards bisexual women? Now that’s an interesting and sad sad topic. Every time I read an article about bisexuality anywhere the comments it receives by gay women is astonishing.

There’s such dislike and sometimes even hate. Why? Someone explain this to me. Or better yet, please don’t. I have read so much about this topic, I really do not want to hear any more. Unless you have something positive to contribute.

I guess the reason why I don’t understand all the fuss is because I don’t understand why people can be so judgmental about someone’s sexual orientation, especially when the people doing the judging know so well what it is like to be judged like that.

Yes, I am a lesbian, but why would that make me have a problem with bisexuals? Or with straight people? Or with anyone else of that matter? Not only do I not have any problems with bisexual women in general, I don’t have any issue about dating them either.

I like the women I date to be into women (read not straight) and to at least be certain about their sexuality (meaning I cannot do another struggling with identity and/or coming out). But why would I care whether she also likes guys or not?

I generally do not really care who someone has dated before me and who she fancies. So it’s also not important to me whether those are/were men or women. The main point is that you like ME, everything else is secondary.

I have read a lot of arguments against dating bisexual women, and even though I understand where it’s coming from, I tend to think it is all a little silly. But of course everyone should date whoever they want or do not want to date.

After all, if people are allowed to discriminate about such trivial and totally unimportant things as hair colour, there’s no way anyone can give a valid argument why lesbians should consider dating bisexuals.

The thing is that this biphobia (btw this is one of the words I detest the most. Not what it means or stands for, but because it is used way too often by whiny bisexuals) goes way beyond who to date. In some parts of the lesbian community bisexuals are just blatantly discriminated against.

Of course often it is less obvious or probably not meant in a nasty way, but why the need to always comment on someone’s bisexuality? Is it really that important? But the thing that always really has me going WTF is that some lesbians seem to believe that bisexuality does not exist.


It’s one thing to not like or understand bisexuality, but to right out claim it does not exist? How retarded is that? It’s just the same as straight folks claiming there’s no such thing as homosexuality, and it’s just a choice.

You just like who you like. If you are lucky you find someone special who feels the same way about you. Everything else should be secondary. Life’s too short and too damn depressing most of the time anyway to make things so hard on ourselves.

Go out and hug a bisexual today. C’mon, you know you want to…

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The art of being straight

There’s this interesting new movie coming out called The art of being straight. It tells the story of Jon who moves to LA, taking a break from his long time gf. While he’s there he starts to discover he has feelings for men. One man, his boss, in particular.

Meanwhile he meets up with an old college friend Madeleine, who thought she was a lesbian but then ends up falling for a man again. In other words, this is a movie about exploring your sexual orientation.

I have only seen the trailer, so I have no idea whether it is well done or not (and with well done I mean it actually portrays in a good way what it is like to be early twenties and explore your sexuality). But it looks interesting.

I like that the main character is a “straight” guy who wonders if he’s gay, since you don’t see that too often. The typical popular college guy who has a lot of girlfriends is usually not the character who they show questioning their sexuality.

The art of being straight will be in theatres in New York and LA beginning of June and hopefully it will make it to Europe as well, as I would love to see it.

Monday, May 25, 2009

The 100 hottest women from Germany according to BILD magazine

On Wednesday German magazine BILD published their list of the 100 hottest women from Germany, BILD-Liste: Die 100 Erotischten Frauen Deutschlands. It’s like AfterEllen’s Hot 100 only completely different. I guess a better comparison would be with Maxim’s or FHM’s lists of what’s hot.

Indeed, half of the list appears to consist of the usual pin up girls (or porn stars even) that always seem to make lists like these. Fortunately, there are some really nice classy ladies who made it onto the list as well.

As eurOut’s Entertainment Editor I had the difficult task of examining this list more closely to see what collection of hot women Germany has to offer. Ah the things I do for you ladies.

Photo from

Number one on BILD’s hottest German women list is Pro 7 presenter Charlotte Engelhardt. I watched quite a bit of television when I lived in Germany, but this lady does not look familiar to me.

I guess she just did not make much of an impression on me, although I can understand why she made it to the top of the list. She’s blonde, she’s fun, and she’s the stereotypical image of what men who read BILD like.

Other ladies who made the Top 10 include actress Sophia Thomalla, TV presenter and former model Sonya Kraus, Gegen die Wand actress Sibel Kekilli, singer Sarah Connor, actress Veronica Ferres, actress and model Cosmo Shiva Hagen (daughter of Nina Hagen), and Deutschland sucht den Superstar contestant Annemarie Eilfeld.

Some other women who made the list that you are probably familiar with, include model and TV presenter Heidi Klum, actress Diane Kruger (Troy, National Treasure), actress and singer Yvonne Catterfeld, actress and model Nadja Auermann, and model Claudia Schiffer.

I selected a few women who made it onto BILD’s list that I thought you might be interested in learning a little more about. These ladies clearly show that hot women can not only be found in Scandinavia (read up on hot women from Sweden and Norway), but that Germany also has a lot of hotness to offer.

#05 Maria Furtwänger
Photo by Karl Lagerfeld

Maria Furtwänger is not only an actress but also a physician, proving that there’s nothing hotter than the combination of beauty and brains. She has played in a number of movies and TV series since the 1980s, but you probably know her best as detective Charlotte Lindholm on German crime series Tatort. Tatort is like the German CSI, only they don’t need all the fancy stuff to make it interesting.

#08 Hannah HerzsprungAward winning movie actress Hannah Herzsprung makes it to number 8 on the list. Herzsprung played the role of Jenny in the queer movie Vier Minuten. She has also starred in a number of other movies, including Das Wahre Leben and the movie adaptation of Goethe’s Die Leiden des Jungen Werther, the only German book I actually read for my reading list in high school.

#11 Alexandra Maria Lara
Romanian-born actress Alexandra Maria Lara has starred in a number of crime films as well as historical ones. Lara started out playing on German TV series and movies, but in the last few years she has had leading roles in many international movies, including Downfall, Control and Youth without youth. She has also appeared in one of the Tatort movies.

#12 Iris Berben

Photo by Ulli Gehner

At 58, actress Iris Berben might be one of the oldest women on the list, but certainly not the least stunning. Berben has been playing in German movies since the late 1960s, as well as starred in several successful TV series, and she has won every possible German TV and movie award you can imagine. You probably know her best for her role as detective Rosa Roth in the TV crime series with the same name.

#17 Simone ThomalleCan you spot a pattern here? I like women who play detectives. And I am not the only one. It’s uncanny how similar political editor Maxime68’s favourites were to mine. Actress Simone Thomalle is since 2008 most known for her role as detective Eva Saalfeld on crime TV series Tatort Leipzig. Before this she already had a successful acting career, playing in a number of TV films and series since the late eighties.

#38 Mariella Ahrens
At 38 there’s another woman that caught my eye. Guess what kind of roles she plays? You can currently catch actress Mariella Ahrens in the ARD series Mit Glanz und Gloria and Massel, but before that she played in the crime show Polizeiruf 110. Not sure if she actually played a detective though. Probably, because I think she’s hot.

#46 Maybritt Illner

I was intrigued by BILD’s description that she has “the attitude of a guy because she’s living in a men’s world.” BS comment of course, but it did make me look into this woman. Journalist, TV presenter and author Maybritt Illner has won a host of awards for her TV journalism. You might also recognize her from when she was the commentator for the Bundestagwahl in 2002 and in 2005. Illner can currently be seen in her own talk show on ZDF.

#50 Nora Tschirner

Cutey Nora Tschirner is an actress and former MTV news VJ. She also presented a radio programme that had nothing to do with MTV. As an actress she has played in many different TV series as well as in a number of movies, including Kebab connection and Alice in Wonderland. The latter I personally find very intriguing.

#51 Britta Heidemann

Fencing star Britta Heidemann can be found at number 51. Heidemann won a gold medal for fencing at last year’s Olympics. Besides being very good at fencing, she’s also an expert on China and currently working on her thesis on Chinese environmental law. Cute, sportive and smart. If she turns out to have a great sense of humour too she just might be my ideal woman.

#59 Britta Kamrau

Another Britta who’s a sports woman made it onto the list. Britta Kamrau is a swimmer for SC Empor Rockstock. She has won all sorts of prizes and awards, that mean very little to me, but sound exhausting. I am talking about the World Championship in Melbourne for over 25 km. Isn’t that like 100 laps? When she is not swimming Kamrau is studying for her law degree.

#61 Anne Will
Journalist and talk show host Anne Will is the only out lesbian on the entire list. After years of hosting a sports programme and the daily news, she got her own talk show in 2007. Her political talk show originally named Anne Will on NDR was voted the most popular one in 2008. In addition, she and partner Miriam Merkel were nominated for best couple in last year’s AfterEllen’s Visibility awards.

#68 Christiane PaulPhoto by Dominik Parzinger

At number 68 we find another wonderful actress who coincidently also does not mind playing the role of a police detective. Actress Christiane Paul can currently be seen in the movie Ob ihr willt oder nicht, but she is also working on a movie called Jerry Cotton in which she plays a FBI agent. Besides this, Paul has also starred in many other German movies as well as several TV shows.

#69 Stephanie KloβStephanie Kloss is the lead singer of the Pop-rock band Silbermond who sing in the German language and are rather successful at it too. They are one of the newer yet most popular bands right now. I listened to some of their songs on their MySpace page. They are not bad, but it is all a little tame for my liking. I do think that Kloss is a cutey though.

#81 Katharina Wagner
Photo by Bayreuther Festspiele/Enrico Nwarath

Hottie number 81 is no other than opera director Katharina Wagner. I have to admit I know very little about opera, let alone what it is exactly that opera directors do, but I do think that the idea of it is kind of hot. She is currently the director of the Wagner-Festspiele. Interesting fact: she is related to (I think grand-grand-granddaughter) the famous composer Richard Wagner.

#87 Franka Potenta

The final woman I want to pay some attention to is no other than actress Franka Potenta. You probably know her from her roles in movies like Lola rennt and The Bourne Identity (as well as the sequel). Yes, she is a German actress. These German ladies can be found everywhere! Not that I am complaining. Interesting fact: Potenta is sporting some lovely tattoos that she even showed off once in an advertisement for Peta.

So what do you think of the women on the list? Can you think of any other German hotties that are missing?

If you are interested in learning more about any of these women, check out this article on eurOut where it actually includes links.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

TV series you should own on DVD: V

I only remembered the TV series V from when I was little. Very little, as it first aired in 1984, so I was just 7 years old. In retrospect I can’t believe my mother let me watch it, then again, I can believe it, because she let me watch almost anything.

V is the miniseries about an invasion by aliens. One day the whole world gets invaded by aliens in huge space ships, who land on earth and tell the people they have come in peace. They are just out of resources on their planet, so they have some to earth to borrow some of ours.

The aliens even look exactly like humans, they only talk a little funny, so they can’t possible mean any harm, right? Wrong. It is soon apparent that the plan of the aliens is to not just borrow some resources, but to drain the entire earth of all its water.

Oh and they are also planning on taking a few thousand people. For food. Yes, you read that correctly. The innocent human looking aliens are really some kind of reptiles that live on anything made out of meat. Meat that is still alive!

As if this part of the series isn’t disturbing enough –watching them eat rodents alive or their creepy reptile skin and tongue hidden behind their human like appearance – there’s also a creepy totalitarian brainwashing thing going on.

From the first moment the aliens start the indoctrination that all scientists are evil and are up to no good. They claim there is a conspiracy going on, where scientists are trying to harm the innocent aliens.

Pretty soon this turns into a manhunt and scientists first get fired, and then aret arrested and some disappear never to return again. Soon there is alien police everywhere and there are even humans spying for them to make sure no one is misbehaving.The parallels with Germany during World War II are easily made. Even if I had not thought about it myself, it is rammed down our throats by the older people on the show making the comparisons of what is happening to them now with what happened during the war.

Lengthy story telling about the horrors of WWII is not really something you expect to find in the campy eighties show. Neither is the amount of people who just die in lots of dramatic ways.

None of these things I noticed when I watched it when I was little. All I recalled was the creepy alien skin beneath the human skin oh and of course the teenage girl who was stupid enough to let herself get pregnant by one of the aliens.

Not sure how much I knew about sex and having babies at such a young age, I just vividly recall I thought there was nothing more creepy than having to give birth to an alien reptile baby lol. I was such a smart girl.

The other thing I never noticed before is how very very gay Diane – the second in command – is. Ok technically she isn’t supposed to be, and we see her get it on with guys, but there is something in the way she interacts with all the women on the show that’s just so…gay.

I bought both miniseries on DVD expecting to watch some bad campy eighties TV show, but instead I was pleasantly surprised to have bought a really cool show. Ok don’t get me wrong, it still looks very dated and there are a lot of WTF moments, but it’s also a really fun watch.

If you, like me, haven’t watched V since the eighties, go check it out, I bet you’d like it!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Twitter: A fun little obsession

I have a fun new obsession, it’s called Twitter. For months people (you know who you are!) were telling me to get on Twitter, because it was so great and exciting, but I would just ignore them.

I thought Twitter was just another social network site like MySpace or FaceBook and the last thing I needed was another one of those. I also was under the misguided impression you could only use Twitter by phone and who would want to text to complete strangers?

Once I became an editor for eurOut I quickly noticed that almost anyone and everyone was on Twitter and I became curious about what I was missing out on. So I finally decided to check out what the fuss was all about, and I am so glad that I did!

I already can’t imagine my life without Twitter. I know that sounds silly, but it’s become such a part of my every day online life. It’s both very social and informational. Everyone has a Twitter account these days.

This includes any kind of media, TV shows, websites, newspapers etc. They all tweet their latest news, so it helps to stay updated with what happens in the queer entertainment world. I say queer, because Twitter is so incredibly GAY!

Well, I am sure it isn’t for millions of users, but from the 200 plus accounts that I follow, I think about 90% of those are gay. Not just websites and media, but also bloggers, vloggers, authors, actors, everyone is on Twitter.

And it’s so fast. It’s not like FB or MS where you actually have to look on peoples pages, but you get instant messages from as many people as you want immediately. There’s no faster way to keep up to date on the latest news and especially to spread the news.

Look what happened with the whole Amazon fail thing. Within hours everyone on Twitter was talking about it and demanding things to be changed. It’s so awesome!

And it’s such fun! Sometimes it’s a little too much fun and I forget that Twitter really isn’t a lesbian chat room. But I am sure that those followers who don’t participate in the banter don’t mind too much. Right?

Anyway, this was just a post to say I HEART TWITTER and I wish I had joined it months earlier.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

YouTube Thursday: Bad tunes I loved as a kid

I can’t help but keep coming back to all the songs I loved when I was younger, especially all the bad ones. They might have been bad, but you have to admit, some of them are still pretty cool. OK perhaps cool isn’t the right word, but you used to like some of these too, right?

Bros – I owe you nothing (1988)

I was a huge huge fan…One day I will elaborate just how far my obsession went lol. Oh and I also watched Top of The Pops every single week for years.

Debbie Gibson – Foolish beat (1987)

I used to think this song was so romantic and dramatic lol…

Vanilla Ice – Ice Ice Baby (1990)

The live version is even funnier…and yes, I still know all the lyrics…

Kris Kross – Jump (1992)

I even had the t-shirt…and actually tried to wear my clothes backwards…

Joey Lawrence – Nothing my love can’t fix (1992)

In my defence, I loved the TV series Blossom. And I love the guy’s ripped jeans. Just like mine…

East 17 – House of love (1992)

I actually met these guys ones…they were really nice.

I am going to stop now before it becomes really embarrassing…

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Deadly Dress 4: Never a Bride

This 9 minute movie trailer is all kinds of awesome. Ok and also kind of disturbing, especially all the pigs noises. If horror is not your thing or you are a pansy and can't handle anything gross, don't watch lol. Although it does star the lovely Lena Headey.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Ellen Degeneres' awesome commencement speech

Random questions

After reading @maxime68’s blog post about random questions that occupy her mind, I felt inspired to write a blog post like that of my own. You see, there’s quite a lot of things and questions that occupy my mind too.

I would love to be able to say that all of these questions are important ones, but unfortunately lots of them are kind of trivial…some might even say stupid or weird. Well, I will share some of them with you and you can decide for yourself in which category they belong.

* Why are so many people so scared of anyone who is different than them?
I honestly don’t understand this one. I usually quite like people who are different, they make life more interesting.

* Is grass really that hard to digest that it takes four stomachs or is it just a coincidence that cows have that many and only eat grass?

* Is this what it means to be grown up? Why does it feel just the same as being young, only with a little more experience? Does anyone ever feel their age?

* Why are there so many stupid people? And why do they annoy me so much? I don’t think I need to elaborate on this one.

* If women ruled the world would things really be any better? Or would it be just as bad? Or perhaps even worse?

* Can you really have too much of a good thing? Why do some people always want more while others are perfectly content with moderation?

* Why are so many people so scared to be alone? Why would anyone settle in a relationship?

* Why doesn’t everyone else see that what I think is awesome really is awesome? Something’s are not a matter of taste, but are just fact.

* What is it that makes you like someone?

Can you believe I just wrote down exactly what popped into my head as I wrote this post?

Monday, May 18, 2009

Eurovision…some thoughts and observations

On Saturday was the Eurovision Song Contest. I don’t really care for the ESC, nor do I watch it regularly. I tend to think most of the songs suck and the whole thing is just boring and/or annoying. I do love the score board at the end though.

But this year we did some live blogging on eurout, so of course, as the entertainment editor I had to participate. I decided the best way to go about this is to have something to drink. The something soon turned into quite a binge.

Actually, I did not even drink THAT much, but I was drunk enough as if I had done so. Oh well, at least I had a really good time. Plus I think I did not say anything too embarrassing and I could still type. So yay for me.

What I couldn’t do so well anymore was write. I already am not blessed with very nice penmanship, but the notes I made while watching the ESC look simply horrible. I was going to scan them in, but I decided I am too lazy to do so.

Just trust me when I say those notes are a mess. I did manage to sort of deciphering them, so here’s what I thought about some of the entries:

Sweden: Horrible, crap song…awful dress…nice lady. HOT ARMS! Damn.

Iceland: Nice sweet song and cute girl

Lithuania: Boring, but cute boy in a boyband-ish kind of way

France: Patricia Kaas is not really my taste, but I do think she is way too good to be taking part in Eurovision

Greece: SO GAY!!! Where are we? Are we in Moscow or at a gay club?

Russia: WTF! @ The close ups. Before the end of the song I was shouting: MAKE IT STOP!

Bosnia & Herzegovina: Weird….with drummers…and a red stage….I kinda like it.

Moldavia: Everyone seems to love it….I don’t get it.

Malta: Nice background music…I like the sparkly stage

Estonia: Like it! Nice song! Nice girl! Violins! She has a lovely smile! My favourite so far!

Denmark: It sucks. It’s like a bad Boyzone cover!

Germany: LOL! So CRAP!

Turkey: Average song. Hot women dancing. I love Turkey. Every time (Huh? Not sure what I meant, but I sure seemed to have liked Turkey)

Norway: SO BAD!!! Boy can’t sing! No one hears it…They like him. WTF?

Ok to sum it up….
WORST: Germany, Norway and Finland!
FAVE: Estonia (& the arms of Sweden)

Who won? Norway. And by a lot. I still don’t get it….(I might have said that A LOT on Saturday night).

Did you watch Eurovision? If so, what did you think?

Saturday, May 16, 2009

AfterEllen’s Hot 100: My thoughts

This Monday AfterEllen came out with their annual Hot 100 list. It’s the third time they asked readers to nominate their favourite hotties, and boy did they.

They received over 150,000 (!) votes from lesbians and bisexual women everywhere (and probably a few straight women and men too). With such a huge response you can’t really argue the results, but of course plenty of women did judging by the comments.

I love lists and hot women almost equally, so something like the Hot 100 is really something that gets me excited.

I have a lot to say about this list, because I am a lesbian after all, and we always like to have our say. First of all I want to share with you my personal Top 5 of women who made it to this year’s Hot 100 list.

My Top five women in the order of appearance on the Hot 100 list:

#04. Leisha Hailey

#06. Rachel Maddow

#14. Eliza Dushku

#22. Rose Rollins

#70. Katee Sackhoff
Next I have a few comments on the kind of women who made the list...apparently if you want to make it onto the Hot 100 it helps to play on the L word. But every having played gay works just as well.

There’s a few very young girls on this list that make me slightly uncomfortable. I guess I should be happy there’s so many teenagers these days already voting for their fave ladies. At least I hope it was teenagers doing the voting.

Some more random comments, most of which went through my mind while looking through the list (Well, besides...damn those ladies are hot *g)...

Portia de Rossi at number 1. Seriously? I can’t deny she’s very pretty, but she does absolutely nothing for me. I guess it’s kinda cool to have an out lesbian at number one, but still I am kind of surprised by this.

The rest of the top 10 (or Top 20) even didn’t really hold any surprises for me.
There were a surprising number of ladies on this list who I just did not know. I actually had to click on their names or Google them to find out. Perhaps it’s just because a lot of these actresses just look the same to me, oh and also, I am really bad with names.

I am not sure what they did with their separate lists...Top out women, Top women over 40 and Top women of colour. I mean, they listed all the women in those catergories who made it to the Top 100 plus added the ones that just did not make it.

Now as a researcher, that does not sound very scientific to me. If you were just going to count them like that, why have people list them separately at all? Theoretically no one could’ve put a certain women in their top 10 but everyone as top out woman.

That woman then should’ve appeared at the top of the out list, not the out women with the most votes in total. Oh never mind, it is supposed to be JUST FUN...

What I would like to do next is discuss with you all the European ladies that made the list this year. I found 16 in total (do correct me if I am wrong, looking through all that hotness did cloud my brain a little), mainly consisting of British women, three Spanish ladies and one woman from Norway (I bet you can guess who that is).

#03. Lena Headey

You probably all know British actress Lena Headey as florist Luce in one of the better lesbian movies of the last ten years, Imagine me and you. I fell a little bit in love with her then. I never did get into the Sarah Connor Chronicles in which Headey plays the lead character Sarah Connor, but I did quite enjoy her performance in the episode Top Friends of AfterEllen’s web series Ghostella’s Haunted Tomb.

I think Heady is a major hottie and she also seems like she’s a lovely person. Therefore, I think coming 3rd on the Hot 100 is well deserved.

#10. Gro Hammerseng

I think no one is surprised to see that Norwegian’s hottest handball player Gro Hammerseng has made it to the Top 10. The popularity of this woman is unbelievable, or perhaps undeniable is the better word. Not only is she a beautiful woman, she is also an out lesbian (the only one on this list).

I can really appreciate the latter, although obviously the former doesn’t hurt either. I really don’t care for sports at all, but women like Hammerseng make me want to watch it.

#12. Rachel ShelleyBritish actress Rachel Shelley is mostly known for her role as Helena Peabody on everyone’s favourite lesbian TV series the L word. She’s also appeared in a number of other TV series and movies, including Gray matters and Ghost whisperer.

I was really surprised to see her up so high on the list. Sure, she is a beautiful woman, but I did not realize she was that popular. When I think of Shelley I think of her sex scenes on the L Word with Alex Hedison. Very hot.

Reader the rest of this article here.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

YouTube Thursday Part II: I'm your man (from the International Day of Femslash)

A really cool video to make up for all the horrible Eurovision ones ;-)

YouTube Thursday: Eurovision favourites

Since it’s time once again for the Eurovision Song Contest this Saturday, I thought I’d take this opportunity to share with you some of my all time favourite Eurovision tunes.

This wasn’t an easy task as I generally think that most of these songs are crap. But Eurovision has been around forever, so luckily there were lots of songs to choose from.

Those songs below definitely don’t belong to my favourite songs, but they are the least bad Eurovision songs…or some I have fond memories of.

Johnny Logan – Hold me now (1987)

Can you believe I used to like this song? Well, in my defense, I was only 10 at the time. I still like one of Logan’s other songs though, Wouldn’t it be good.

Abba – Waterloo (1974)

You can’t have an overview of Eurovision songs without mentioning Abba.

Dana International – Diva (1998)

This was a huge thing, when Israel won with this song in 1998. I think it might possibly be my favourite Eurovision entry ever.

What about Dutch entries? Well, two stand out for me…

Michelle – Out on my own (the Netherlands, 2001)

I don’t really care for the song, but she’s an out lesbian, so worthy of a mention.

Frizzle Sizzle – Alles heeft een ritme (the Netherlands, 1986)

I liked this song when I was nine lol. I haven’t heard this song since 1986. I don’t remember it being this bad.

Looking up Eurovision songs also made me realize that my all time least favourite artist has participated in this. Can you guess who I mean?

P.S. The only thing I really like about watching Eurovision is the scoreboard at the end lol.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

More talk about labels: Butch and Femme

After my successful post about labels regarding sexual orientation I thought I’d talk (rant?) about another set of labels I have some issues with: Butch and Femme. Just to be clear, I have no problem with these labels in general or what they represent.

It’s just a common fact that some (gay) women are more masculine and some are more feminine, so to me it makes perfect sense someone thought of some nice labels to illustrate this.

What really bugs me though is when these labels/identities/whatever are not seen as just that, labels, or even as continuums, but as two absolute categories. There’s some queer women (and you know who you are!) who try to divide us all in either of these camps.

In doing so, they seem to overlook that a lot of us don’t really fit too well in either the butch or the femme category. Not only that, but it often seems quite arbitrary or extreme. Reasoning like everyone is butch who’s not extremely girly or everyone is femme who’s not clearly butch seems a little flawed to me.

I get it though, especially if this works for you. If you are a very butch woman or really girly, I can understand you want to embrace this. But with so many other things in life, it’s hardly ever as black and white.

I don’t really care for most girly things. I don’t like girly stuff, I don’t wear makeup, and I would never ever ever wear a dress. Just some examples. I’ve also been told I have a few qualities that aren’t considered “very ladylike” lol. Still, I doubt anyone would call me butch. Unless I lived in LA of course, because the butch threshold seems to be extremely low there.

The thing that annoys me much more than simply these labels and dividing women this way, is all the assumptions, or rules even, that seem to go with them. What always makes me roll my eyes (even if it’s just figuratively) is when people are firm believers of butch – femme coupling.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally understand if you are very butch that you like femmy women and the other way round. Opposites attract and all that. I just don’t get why anyone would go so far as to say this is the way it should be for everyone.

I am so sick and tired of lesbians saying two butch women shouldn’t hook up. Why the hell not? I thought being gay just meant you were attracted to women, any women. I didn’t know there were strict rules about who you could like and who not.

I personally seem to be attracted to all kinds of women, ranging from quite butch to rather femme. Different women attract me for different reasons. This has nothing to do with me or my physical appearance.

Why be so narrow and limit yourself? I really don’t understand it. It’s just as stupid as people who like or dislike blondes. Really, you care about something as unimportant as hair colour? What happens when your gf dyes her hair, you go off her?

Seriously though, some queer women seem to be way too preoccupied with these labels and how one ought to act. This sometimes even goes one step further than what I have been talking about. Let’s get into gender roles.

Now this is really something I simply do not understand. Sure, everyone has different qualities and things they like and don’t, so it makes sense in a relationship to make some divisions or labour.

I can even understand that both women have different roles in the relationship. But why does it have to be so rigid? And why does it have to look like you’re re-enacting a straight relationship from the fifties?

Let me illustrate what I mean. On Velvetpark they have a vlog on which they talk about Butch – Femme stuff. I stopped watching it after a few times, because it just annoyed me so much. One time they talked about how it’s so great when the tough butch woman opens all the doors, carries all the groceries and pays for everything.

They even went on to say when a man does this for a woman it’s wrong, but when a butch woman does it for a woman it’s hot. Seriously? What am I missing here? I like it when someone holds open a door for me too, but I would hate to be in a relationship where I was with someone who was the door holder.

And I would be, what exactly? The person who slams the door in your face? Who never pays for anything? It also wouldn’t work for me in the reverse. Really people? I bet it’s much more fun if you mix things up a little.

I could go on and on about this topic. The bottom line is, I don’t really get it and/or it doesn’t really work for me. Let me know what you think. Do you agree or can you explain what I’m missing here?

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Why you should be watching Los Hombres de Paco

In case you don´t watch the Spanish show Los Hombres de Paco, this is why you should:

Here´s what happened...

Previously on LHDP: Pepa and Silvia were broken up, and Pepa spent a lot of time flirting with guys for no apparent reason. This resulted in Curtis developing a crush on her and at the end of the last season, and he got shot in the chest when he tried to impress Pepa.

When they were in the ambulance Pepa told Curtis she loved him, thinking he was going to die. He didn’t. What did happen was Pepa and Silvia kissed, hugged and hopefully will be back together soon.

These episodes of Los Hombres de Paco are really quite long, especially if you consider the fact that Pepa and Sylvia only have very little (relevant) screen time, and that I don’t really speak Spanish. However, last week’s episode was more than worth sitting through for the one hot Pepsi scene, that unfortunately turned into something pretty messed up way too soon.

Before we get to that scene, we can already see Pepa acting all butch. Aitor (yes, that’s the guy that Pepa slept with when she and Silvia broke up) humiliates Sara in front of everyone, because he’s in love with her and he’s trying to make her hate him, since she’s married and it would make things less complicated and painful.

Pepa, however, doesn’t really appreciate his logic, and becomes so angry with him she starts hitting him and then she shoves his face into the toilet.

Aitor tries to make Pepa and Sylvia understand, asking them what they would do. Could they stand being in love with someone and spending all your time with them, yet knowing that they could never be truly yours, because they belong to someone else?

Pepa and Sylvia do not know what to say to that. I do. Stay away from people who are already in a relationship! It will save you so much trouble and heartache.

Now we come to a scene that teaches us two very important things: 1. There’s nothing wrong with a little role-playing; and 2. Don’t lead someone on, especially when you were just engaged in number 1.

Read the entire recap here.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Is this my personal diary?

Someone asked me the other day whether I see this blog as a kind of personal diary, albeit a very public personal diary. I had never really given it much thought. My first reaction was no, not at all.

You see, I kept a personal diary for over a decade until I was in my early twenties. I filled pages and pages with self-created drama. With that I mean it was all about how I was confused, upset, insecure, etc.etc.etc. Small things seemed like the end of the world.

Ok and sometimes not so small things. Wanting to fit in and realizing I never would, self-esteem issues, depression, struggling with my sexual orientation. The list goes on and on. It was all big and bad.

Sometimes it was fun too. Like whenever I had a crush on someone. Of course that quickly turned negative too, worrying about whether they liked me back, things that went wrong etc. etc.

What I am trying to illustrate is that my personal diaries used to be very personal. I would never write about every day things, about what I liked or what my opinions were on certain things. It would only be about how hard life was as a teenager.

I don’t see this blog in the same light. Sure, I do disclose a lot of personal information and some of my posts are about very personal topics, but it’s not like it’s my diary. There’s a clear difference.

I am not sharing my innermost personal thoughts and feelings with you. I choose and select what to write about and I am usually very aware there’s people reading it. That in itself already makes you write things differently.

Take this week for an example. So far I have written about a study on the wellbeing of Dutch queer women, the stupidity of male and female products, sexual orientation labels, eighties cartoons and random facts about me.

Now these are all things that interest me and I thought about this week. But if I were to really write down what has been on my mind this week, what kinds of thoughts, feelings, worries etc. have occupied my time, this blog would look very different.

The interesting question is which of the two would be a more entertaining read. I personally think you’re better off reading this blog than my personal diary. Not only that, but I don’t really want you guys to know about all my innermost private thoughts.

It’s embarrassing. Well, sometimes it is. I’d much rather choose when to share what and especially to whom I tell things that personal to. Thus, this blog is not my personal diary and it also won’t turn into one anytime soon.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Random facts about me – Part III

Back by popular demand: random facts about me part III. Fifty random facts weren’t enough, so I’m trying to think of 25 more. Why is this so much fun? No idea, but here goes…

1. I was extremely shy when I was little –scared of everything and everyone- and I remained quite introverted all through high school. These days no one believes me, because I never shut up.

2. I am quite liberal about liking someone despite their views on life, politics, etc. But there’s certain tiny things like liking/disliking certain music/films/things that can be total deal breakers for me.

3. I’m not a morning person. If I had the power I would change the world’s rhythm so that nothing ever happened before 10 am.

4. I don’t really like having lazy mornings while I’m unwashed and undressed. I always want to get showered and dressed as soon as I wake up. Then I’m ready to be lazy.

5. I stopped being jealous at other people the day I realized that wanting what they have means getting their whole life including all their flaws, misery and other crap.

6. I’ve never been a jealous person when it comes to relationships either. I don’t really grasp the concept. Sure, I don’t want my girlfriend getting it on with anyone else, but besides that I don’t really mind. A little jealousy can be cute, but if you’re a jealous bitch it’s not going to work out.

7. I was a chain smoking nicotine addict from ages 17 until 30. My whole life revolved around smoking (rolling tobacco, how butch). A little over 2 years ago I quit cold turkey. One of the hardest things I have ever done (and I’m still carrying around the extra pounds to prove it). I haven’t had a single cigarette since.

8. My oldest bestest friends are straight women who are very pretty and very girly. Despite the many things we do not have in common, we are very close. I feel very blessed with friends who know me through and through, and have always accepted and loved me unconditionally. It also makes me picky making new friends, because they set such an awesome but high friends standard.

9. When I was little I was such a tomboy, only playing boys games and with boys toys. I loved climbing trees, building stuff, cars and Lego. I could think of nothing worse or more boring than playing with dolls, or worse even, ‘to play house’.

10. From as far back as I can imagine I have always said I’d never want to get married and have kids. I just didn’t see the point. In my twenties I was still very adamant I’d NEVER do either. These days I realize that for the right woman I might change my mind, although there’s nothing on earth that could make me actually get pregnant myself. NOTHING.

11. I remember when I first learned about homosexuality this made perfect sense to me. I had a very simple idea what sex entailed, like kids do, meaning something gets inserted. So no problem to understand what two gay males would do, but I for the life of me could not figure out what lesbians did . They had nothing to insert, after all.

12. When I was a teenager I used to steal stuff, just to see if I could get away with it. Never anything big and valuable though. I stopped once I realized how easy it was.

13. The most beautiful place I have been so far was Lake Como in Italy. I was staying on top of a hill overlooking the lake and the view would almost literary take my breath away. I could stand and stare for hours. Ok maybe not hours, but many minutes for sure.

14. Saying I am not a dog person is the understatement of the year. I wouldn’t mind so much if they did not jump me or lick me. Stronger than my dislike for dogs is my dislike for dog owners who let their dogs lick and jump me and then get offended when I don’t enjoy it.

15. Speaking of dislike, have I mentioned how much I dislike stupid people yet? And people without a sense of humour? Ok, just checking.

16. Most nights I sleep like a baby. I lay down and within minutes I am asleep until the alarm wakes me up the next day. The only time I couldn’t sleep were the first six weeks after I quit smoking. I know I am very lucky and deeply sympathize with all you insomniacs out there.

17. I never ate Brussel sprouts until I moved out of my parents house, because my mother hated them and therefore never cooked them. For 20 years of my life I was convinced they were disgusting, until I decided to give them a try and I was shocked to find out I liked the taste. This discovery has made me try any food you put in front of me, no matter what horror stories I have heard about it.

18. I wouldn’t say I am OCD, but I do like things my way. Or in a certain way. I like my daily morning routine and hate to do it differently. I don’t mind if my house is a mess, but I want my books and work stuff on neat piles and in order.

19. I love computer games, but I never took it seriously. I think I am the only person in the world who is still playing with a N64. Don’t laugh, Perfect Dark rules!

20. I have an extremely light allergy to some unknown substances (I suspect one of them is ginger) which makes my nose itch uncontrollably. It’s harmless but very annoying. Living in Germany among all the blossomy trees gave me a slight hay fever, which I think is gone again.

21. I’m insensitive to any kind of thriller, horror movie or other graphic television like disasters or operations. Up until a few years ago I could also watch anything sad and not even blink an eye. Not anymore, I’m getting soft.

22. I don’t really care for most things romantic, be it gestures or presents. I won’t get excited if someone brings me flowers or fills an entire room with candles, but I will be touched just because they made the effort. Showing your love by buying me books or cooking me dinner works just as well.

23. I am pretty easy going and it takes a lot to get me really angry or upset. Once you cross that line though, there’s no turning back. I might forgive, but I’ll never forget.

24. I hate BS and I usually see through people who are insincere or just straight out lie. If you are going to lie, make sure it’s something worth lying about and make sure you lie well.

25. You can trust me never to tell your secrets to anyone else or to judge you because of them. Some think it’s because I am so nice and caring, I fear it’s because I really do not care enough to.

Still aren’t bored to tears yet and want more? Read part I and part II.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

The Big Fat Gay Collab saying Fuck You!

YouTube Thursday: Awesome eighties cartoons

As requested by @rochelledancel, this blog post is all about some of my favourite eighties cartoons.* When I was little, I think I enjoyed most cartoons really, but here are some that impressed me the most.


Yes, I know, He-man is very very lame. But I loved this show. I loved the raising of the sword and his “I have the power” slogan. I also thought Skeleton was super creepy. Shut up, I was little.

Dr. Snuggles

Ok also very lame, but just listening to this theme song makes me smile.

Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors

Still an awesome theme song. ”There’s a power that comes from deep inside of you” lol

The Snorks

I think this was on a little later than the previous two, but also a cartoon I really enjoyed watching. Not that I remember much about the actual content.

Where did I do most of my cartoon watching? On Sky Channel’s Fun Factory on Saturday morning.

Finally, my favourite Disney cartoon ever:
The Fox and the Hound

It’s about true friendship. Wise lessons there. Sure to make you cry.

* Yes, I am not taking requests for blog post topics. Feel free to make your suggestions, and who knows, I might even listen.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

All those labels mean “non-straight”

I don’t understand when women have trouble labelling themselves when it comes to their sexual orientation. I am not talking about difficulty because of uncertainty or unreadiness to come out. No, I am talking about women who can’t just tell it like it is.

For me it is always very simple. I use labels like gay, straight and bi, not as a brand/identity/secret society, but just as names for stuff. You like the same gender you are gay, you like the opposite you are straight, and if you like both you are bi.

It keeps puzzling me there are many women who think of it in much more complicated ways. They either do not “like the label” or they don’t think it’s specific enough. With not liking I mean lesbians who call themselves anything but lesbian, simply because they don’t like the name or what it represents.

To me it just indicates you like women, just like lecturer means I teach at university or that car means the thing you drive in. It is just so much easier to use the standard word/label, because then everyone knows what we’re talking about.

The specifically thing also has me confused. I have heard women say, “I find the bisexuality label limiting, therefore I call myself queer or pansexual.” How much more inclusive can you get than liking both men and women?

Finally there are the label free women. They don’t want to slap on a label, for whatever reason, and just want to be seen as a person. A person who just happens to fall for their own gender sometimes.

What I think a lot of these women don’t seem to realize, is that most of the world does not care about your specific label or label free ness. To the straight world it is all very simple. If you are a girl and you like girls, it does not matter whether it is always or just some of the time, if these girls would rather be boys or if they used to be boys or if you like boys as well or not.

The straight world is just going to see you as “non straight”. They really don’t care what label you slap on. Come to think of it, neither does most of the queer world (Well, unless you're a bisexual among dykes, but let's leave that topic for another day). So why make it so difficult? And why be so sensitive about it?

This “woman who likes women, and only women, even though she might have had a few tiny men crushes she did not quite understand nor wanted to act on once upon a time” (= lesbian) doesn’t get it. Anyone want to explain it to me?

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The stupidity that is men vs women products

It never ceases to amaze me how much our society likes to divide things into male/female, as if men and women are two entirely different species that need to be kept separated and treated differently.

We see this in lots of ways, some more serious and more important than others. Even though I admit sometimes this is a logical division and it is true that there are certain differences between men and women. But what society likes to overlook is that the difference and variety within men and within women is bigger than the difference between men and women.

One of the less serious and important areas where you see a strong divide between male and female is in the products you can buy in shops. It might not be that important, but it annoys me to no end.

I mainly have an issue with shoes and shampoos. The former is a taste issue, the latter is just plain retarded. Let’s start with shoes. I realize that in general men tend to wear different shoes than women, and that’s fine. I would not expect this to change or for there to be no separate men and women shoe stores.

What I do take issue with is when the same type of shoe gets sold so differently for men and women. Take sneakers. I love sneakers, I think they look awesome and they feel great on your feet. However, even though there is absolutely nothing gender specific about sneakers, more often than not they get made totally different for men and women.

All the guy shoes look really cool. At least, I always think so. That is to say, they are sleek and simple. No fuss, just awesome sneakers. The same shoes on the women’s isle are totally different. They always have to include stupid accessories, shiny glittery things or they come in horrible colours like pink.Girly pink Nikes. Seriously?

Who wants to wear pink sneakers? Not me. I find it very hard to believe that the majority of women really prefer their sneakers to be pink or include glitters. Luckily there are a few brands who don’t do this, but usually looking for cool sneakers is a nightmare.

I have no problem shopping in the guys section, even though it annoys me that shopping assistants always have to point out to me I’m looking at guys shoes. Yes, I KNOW. Problem is though, my feet are not big enough for men’s shoes. Nine out of ten times they are simply too big.

Whereas I can still understand why shoes (and clothes) are different for men and women, there’s other products that just don’t make sense. Like shampoos. A decade ago, all shampoos were unisex. There were lots to choose from, depending on hair type and personal preference, but men and women could just share their nice unisex shampoos.

This is no longer the case. No, these day the shampoo isle is divided into shampoos especially for men and especially for women. Did all of a sudden the heads and hair of men and women change dramatically that they needed separate shampoos?

Shampoo "for men". Just what the world was waiting for.

Seriously people, it’s so unbelievably dumb. There is no need to buy special men or women shampoo. It is shampoo, for heaven’s sake. What’s next, male and female soap? Oh hang on, it already exists.

Then there’s stuff like deodorant. Ok I get it, not all women like to smell like a dude. But what’s with the packaging? Why can the guy deodorant come in cool designs and in black or grey or drank blue and I have to go home with bright coloured deodorant which is covered in flowers? Or worse even, in pastel colours.

Women's deodorant in "cute" pastel colours

I could talk about this for hours. Don’t worry, I won’t. I just don’t get it. Or I don’t want to get it. I refuse to believe I am the exception and all other women are just happy to buy all their fluffy pink flowery women products.

I guess it all starts when we are little. So many parents try so very hard to get their kids to wear the gender appropriate clothes and have them play with the gender appropriate toys. Why? Why does this matter? I feel very lucky my parents never cared about all that stuff.

What do you think? Am I making a fuss about nothing or would you like to see things differently too?