Monday, March 31, 2008

If the suit does not fit…

I have a job interview next week. The kind of job interview where one is expected to show up nicely dressed, i.e. wearing a suit. I have been on many interviews before, and thus, own one of those nice suits suitable for those kind of occasions (as well as weddings and other formal celebrations).

This btw, is an interview for a job I was invited to even though (or because) I checked the gay box of the orientation question in the application package.

Anyways, I tried on my nice suit this morning, and to my surprise-and horror-it does not fit me anymore. Admittedly, the last time I wore it I already had to refrain from breathing just so the pants would not burst open, but still I honestly did not think I had gained weight again.

Now what am I going to do? As far as I can see, I have two options. I can either starve myself all week, and hopefully lose enough weight to be able to fit into those pants again, or go out and by a new suit.

If you knew me, you would know the former is not really a realistic option. If I could just not eat for a week, I would still be able to fit into my suit pants. Then again, it is not as if I can afford to just buy a new suit. Unless they hire me of course. Hmm.

A third option would be to wear something else. However, all the interviews I have attended so far, everyone showed up in a suit. So not wearing a suit is really not an option.

What am I going to do?

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Variety is the spice of life

Some people have a very specific type of person that they tend to fall for. You can easily pick their type by looking at a crowd of people and pointing someone out to them. I have never quite understood that.
How can you only fall for someone of a specific physical appearance? Or how is it possible to rule out so many people? It always amazes me when people make claims like they do not like blondes. I could never not fancy someone just because of something as insignificant as their hair colour.

I have always had a very broad taste in women. Or perhaps it did not start out that way, but these days the women I find physically attractive are very diverse. I cannot really say I have a type. And why should I? There are so many amazing women out there, why should I limit myself?

The one thing that puzzles me the most is that when it comes to gay women, some tend to think in very strict butch and femme terms. This usually does not only apply to how they identify, but they also seem to divide the rest of us in either camp. This implies identifying with one camp and fancying the other.

Just as I have never identified that strongly with either label, I have also never only liked women who are very feminine or who are very butch or androgynous looking. I guess when I think about it, I find both types of women equally attractive.
It is fine with me if you have a specific type you go for, but for me personally, I have always felt that variety is the spice of life.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Friends are the family you choose yourself

I love my friends. I think I am very blessed to have such great friends as I do. They are the kind of friends you can laugh with and cry with. We hang out, we share interests, and we enjoy each other’s company. Not only that, but we get each other.

My friends get me. They understand what I am like, or at least they always understand where I am coming from. They never judge me, but they accept and respect me for who I am.

I guess to me that is the most important part of having friends: That I can say and do whatever I want when I am around them, because my friends let me be myself.

This cannot always be said for family. Relationships with relatives are complicated at best. Not that I should complain, because I have pretty great parents and an awesome sister. In fact, I would go as far as to say my sister is one of my bestest friends.

Still, the biggest problem with family is that you did not choose them. Just because you happen to be blood related, does not mean you should all get on splendidly.

I love my family, but there is a special place in my heart I have reserved for my friends. I do not know what I would do without them. My friends are the family I choose myself.

Sunday, March 23, 2008


It is Easter and it is SNOWING. I am not kidding. I am looking outside my window as I type this, and I cannot believe the snow coming out of the sky. We already had a little hail storm earlier.

It is freaking Easter! WTF?

Apparently it is supposed to be the coldest Easter in over 40 years. We have been breaking so many weather records these last few years, and still there are people who do not believe it has anything to do with global warming.

Actually, I agree. I think they're all signs of the dooming apocalipse.

I am having some of my family over for Easter and they are all bringing boyfriends. Wish me luck.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Bad lesbian movies

Why are there so many bad lesbian movies? I was thinking about this the other day. I can’t say I have come up with the answer, but I do think it has something to do with (1) there are just many many bad movies, and this is not limited to lesbian movies; (2) the topic of these movies is often not a great plot but the fact that it is about lesbians.

Even though I love to see some gay content in my movies, this by itself is not always enough to make a movie enjoyable. Ok it often is very enjoyable, especially if it involves some nice sex scenes, but it usually is not very memorable. I expect more from my movies than the fact that it involves lesbians.

Obviously not all lesbian movies are bad, and in my DVD collection there are quite some very good and interesting examples of those. For example, I really like movies like Imagine me and you, Show me love, and D.E.B.S. However, they do not really weigh up against some of the incredibly bad lesbian movies in my collection.

The first two gay movies I ever bought were Better than Chocolate and Go Fish. Because they were the first movies I had ever owned that involved dykes, I was pretty excited about them for a while, until the reality set in just how much these films sucked.

Even though the couple in Better than Chocolate are very cute (and hello Christina Cox. Hot!) and the movie has a few other great scenes (the covering each other in paint comes to mind), on the whole you cannot really say the movie has a great plot. It is also not very believable (Maggie standing naked in the bookstore while skinheads try to burn the place down) and at times it is kind of creepy (the mom using her daughter’s vibrator). Still, it is not half as bad as Go Fish.
Go Fish must be the Worst.Lesbian.Movie.Ever. What the hell were they thinking when they made this movie? It looks like part movie, part documentary, and part film school project. It is shot in a weird kind of way, in black and white, and it is so very very gay. Yes, I am actually complaining about a gay movie being too gay.

The other problem I have with this movie is the fact that they picked the most unattractive character ever for Max (a very young and really cute Guinevere Turner) to fall in love with. There is absolutely nothing appealing about the woman-the most exciting thing about her is her weird and creepy tea collection-and the haircut and accompanying wardrobe she gets half way through the movie does not make things any better. WTF?

More good lesbian movies please.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Movies I loved as a teenager: Pump up the volume

When I was a teenager I spent a lot of time watching movies-much more than I do these days. I grew up in the late eighties and early nineties, a time where there were great movies a plenty. I already mentioned some of the eighties movies I loved, including St. Elmo’s Fire and let’s not forget Some kind of wonderful, featuring my first crush Watts.

A movie from the early nineties that had a huge impact on me was Pump up the volume. To some people it might appear as one of those typical high school teen movies, but to me it was so much more than that.

Pump up the volume stars Christian Slater as the lonely nerdy guy Mark at a new school who does not really fit in. To pass the time he starts a pirate radio show in which his alter ego Happy Harry Hard-on (Yes, an eye-roll is in place here) addresses all kind of issues that the school kids care and worry about.

His radio show becomes a huge success, and of course the school, the parents and the police all want to shut his show down. They eventually do, but not before the nerdy guy gets a hot girlfriend, the adorable Nora.

Ok while writing the plot down I realized how cheesy it might sound. I guess it kind of is. Still, that does not change the fact I loved this movie so much I must have seen it at least 50 (!) times.

Why, you might ask. Well, let me tell you.

It was as if that movie spoke to me. I was a lonely teenager who did not quite fit in, who hated high school, authority and worried about all my self-created drama. These were exactly the things that were addressed in the movie; you know, how hard it is to be a teenager.

I thought Hard Harry was the coolest boy ever, and I wanted to be him. Or I guess be like him really. Then again, I also thought I wanted to be the cute girl he hooks up with. It was not until later that I realized I did not want to be her, I wanted to date her.
Plus the soundtrack of that movie was awesome. Unlike many teen movies that feature a lot of cheesy songs or the latest hits, Pump up the volume is all about indie and alternative music. This was 1990, before the rise of the guitar bands, even before grunge. The movie includes songs by Soundgarden, Sonic Youth, Henry Rollins, the Pixies, Leonard Cohen, Beastie Boys, and a lot of other cool artists I was into as a teenager.

I watched it again the other day. I had not seen it in years. It was a little dated, and I admit, also a little cheesy. Still, I loved watching it because it brought back memories of those long ago times as a teenager. I could still remember what made me love this movie. I still thought that Harry was cool, the girl cute and that the music rocked.

I guess we don’t really change, we just get a little older.

Monday, March 17, 2008

The day my laptop died

My laptop crashed. I knew it would happen eventually. In fact, I knew it would happen within a few weeks. Still, I was surprised when the thing finally refused to do anything. First I was surprised, then I panicked.

After panicking I remembered I made back ups of all the important stuff (and all the totally unimportant-yet fun-stuff too). So I relaxed again, but only for a little while because then I started to wonder what I was going to do the rest of the day.

You see, my laptop had pretty much become the most important thing in my life. Sounds so sad, I know. Sad, but also a lot of fun. I used it both for work and for fun, which means you basically could find me with it on my lap 24/7. Ok, I am not that bad, but I am a huge laptop addict.

I did not realize how much of an addict I hade become until my laptop broke down. It broke down and I did not know what to do with myself. It was scary.

The first thing that came to my mind was to run to the nearest store and buy a new laptop. I didn’t though. Instead I tidied the house, watched a movie, and went for a bike ride. Then I bought some lovely fresh food and prepared dinner.

It was just after dinner that the laptop withdrawal started. Or more precisely, internet withdrawal. All of a sudden all I could think about was I have to post new articles, I did not get to reply to all my email, I wonder what new blogs are posted on my favourite websites. Luckily I remembered my roommate has a computer with an internet connection too. Why hadn’t I thought of that before?

It has been three days since my laptop died. I haven’t bought a new one yet. I have been getting by with short periods of using my friends’ computer. It sort of works, but it is not the same. I am sure all you fellow addicts understand. I have to get me a new laptop very soon.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Animal lover

I know I am not going to make myself very popular by admitting this, but I am not a big animal lover. Sure, I like animals alright-they can be fun and cute and all those things. Yet, to be honest, I do not really care about them one way or the other.

We went to the zoo the other day and I enjoyed it. It was fun watching all the animals. They were fun to watch and they also made me hungry.

Yes, I really did just say that the animals in the zoo made me hungry. Well, the fish did anyway. Those fish in the big aquarium looked a lot yummier than the ones I see at the fish market.

Now before you judge me, let me just tell you that apparently the people at the zoo feel the same way about their fish. They had this big sign that said that fish were not only fun to watch, but also really great to eat. Seriously. The sign even showed a picture of some fish sticks (like that qualifies as fish! It is the same as talking about chicken nuggets when discussing chicken).

Where am I going with this? Oh yeah, so I like eating fish or any kind of meat for that matter. I love vegetarian food too, I have just never been very compelled to give up meat, for the simple reason that I honesty do not care about eating animals.

I also do not mind vegetarians or vegans. To each their own. Just do not try to “convert” me while I am trying to enjoy a nice Bambi steak. That’s mean, or just plain annoying.

Maybe I don’t care about eating animals because I do not have any pets. Actually, I think it is more likely I do not have any pets because I don’t really care about animals.

Cats-just like kids-are only fun when they are someone else’s. You can pat them and play with them, then when they start to bore you, you get to leave. You get to go home to your hair-free apartment. Don’t even get me started on dogs.

We finally caught our little house mouse yesterday. We heard it making a lot of noise, then when we finally saw where it was hiding it had died. I was very happy we were finally mouse free, and was eager to throw it out. Apparently, that made me very cold and uncaring. Seriously?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008


Hi, I am Natazzz, and I am a procrastinator.

I am not ashamed to admit it: I love to procrastinate.* I think I have always been that way. I was probably born lazy. There is just something very enjoyable and satisfying about wasting time.

Granted, I can also get great pleasure out of working hard and getting things done. Sometimes. That’s beside the point. The point of this little blog post is to proclaim why I am such a big procrastinator, and in case you are not, perhaps I can convince you why you should become one.

Every day there are so many things we should be doing. There is nothing I hate more than the word should or what it implies. Ok that is not true, the only thing I hate more than things I ought to be doing, is someone telling me what I should be doing.

I have authority issues. Otherwise known as extreme stubbornness. I am happy to do just about anything, unless you tell me I have to do it. Silly, I know.

Anyways, it just feels really good to procrastinate when you should be doing other things. For example, write private emails, surf After Ellen, make to-do lists, or reorganize your DVD collection when you have to finish a paper. Especially when a deadline is near. Of course, not when a deadline is too near. You do not want to be stupid.

Some people are incapable of doing nothing. They need everything they do to be useful. They are the kind of people who get up before nine on a Sunday morning, so they feel they do not waste their Sundays. Freaks. The way I see it, Sundays were invented for sleeping late. That, and walking around in your pyjamas all day or having DVD marathons.

Like I said, I do not only enjoy procrastinating, I also love being a lazy git in general. It’s great, you should try it sometimes.

* This blog post is brought to you by the word procrastinate, one of my most favourite words ever.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Comic of the month: Peanuts

I heart Peanuts. I know it is not a very original choice. Peanuts has been around forever, and most people like the comic. Because really, what’s not to love?

Just in case there are people out there who have never heard of the comic (is that really possible?), I will briefly explain what it is about. The main character in Peanuts is Charlie Brown, a loveable loser, as I like to call him. He has some self-esteem issues and he does not succeed in many things, but that never stops him from trying. There is Lucy, who always knows everything best and basically is a total bitch. Her little brother Linus is a big lover of Beethoven and a big geek. Then of course there is Charlie’s dog Snoopy. And who can forget Peppermint Patty.

The comic ran from the fifties until 2000, when the author and illustrator Charles M. Schulz died. It has been published in numerous newspapers and translated in more than 20 languages. It is in fact the most popular comic strip ever, or so I have been told.

What I love about this comic is how these kids can be so wise. Especially Linus and Charlie Brown often come up with quite simple yet profound revelations about the world around them. My favourite character though is Lucy, just because she is such a bitch. She is always so mean to Charlie Brown, it is quite cruel, yet amusing.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

The Trip That Changed My Life

The Outlet has just posted another one of my stories entitled The Trip That Changed My Life. It is all about what happened to me when I was stupid enough to go on a hiking trip in Wales when I was 17.

The Outlet is a pretty cool website, where each month they publish stories on a number of different topics. It is a platform for individuals seeking to change the world around them. Yes, I am not sure how I ended up there either. Apart from my occasional submissions, they also feature, among other things, stories on a monthly topic, sometimes there is poetry, and they advertise upcoming shows, exhibitions etc.

My favourite part of The Outlet is the monthly column by Fritz, entitled Life and Spite. This woman has a great way of expressing herself-and by that I mean she is not afraid to be blunt, sarcastic or mean. This month she talks all about Women and Pants throughout history in honour of women’s history month. Trust me, it is a lot more fun to read than it sounds.

Ok. Here ends the advertising. Go check it out for yourself!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Love of food

I love food. I love to talk about food, I love to cook, and most of all I love to eat. This all seems very natural to me, and I always assume everyone else is like that as well.

Well, apparently this isn’t the case. My roommate is a good example of one of those weirdoes who does not care about food. Yes, you read it correctly. She really does not care. I mean she likes to eat and she can appreciate nice food, but it does not really interest her at all.

I make her dinner and she is very appreciative (and why shouldn’t she be. She does not have to cook, which she hates, and I am an amazing cook). However, she would eat whatever plate I would put in front of her and react in the same manner (unless it includes some of the few things she really does not like).

My roommate also absolutely hates to cook, because she honestly does not see the point of spending any amount of time on preparing food. She is the kind of person who can easily skip a meal, or just forget to eat all together.

You might think I am sharing this with you because I think she is a freak. I do think that, but that is not the point. To be honest, I am just very very jealous. Not so much about the fact she cannot enjoy cooking or appreciate really good food, but about the fact that she does not care about food. It certainly would not hurt me if I cared about food a little less.

But how could I possibly not care about food, when it just tastes so damn good?