Song of the week: Cry me a river by the Cliks

Because you're hot: Amelie Mauresmo

There is just something about Amelie Mauresmo. Something beyond the obvious. She’s making me watch sports...that’s really saying something, because there’s few things I care less about...

Can you be yourself when you leave your house?

A new campaign has launched in the Netherlands with the slogan Can you be yourself when you leave your house? (Or a more literal translation would be something like Do you have to leave yourself at home when you leave your house?) All over the country you can see billboards with this slogan and a number of different photos.

The photos show a person with a different face stuck on it. For example, a black man with a white face, a Muslim woman with a headscarfless face, a gay man holding the hand of his boyfriend with a woman’s face.

I really like this campaign. It is simple and it makes you think. At least it’s making me think. I would have liked to have some lesbians included as well, but you can’t have everything I suppose.

Seeing that poster with the gay men also made me wonder when I had last seen two guys holding hands that wasn’t during Pride or at another gay event. Nothing comes to mind, whereas I see women holding hands all the time.

This just doesn’t seem right to me. But I think the difference between gay men and lesbians by itself could probably cover several blog posts, so I won’t get into that now. For now, I just wanted to say I like this campaign.

What do you think?

YouTube Thursday: Favourite cover songs part I

Cover songs have been on my mind a lot lately. I just really like them, well, when they are done by artists I like, of course. I recently made a mix tape of some of my favourite cover songs and I thought I’d share them with you.

Tori Amos – Smells like teen spirit (Nirvana)


Melissa Ferrick – Glycerine (Bush)


the Dresden Dolls – Karma police (Radiohead)


Fiona Apple – I want you (Elvis Costello)


Michael Stipe & Coldplay – In the Sun (Joseph Arthur)

Sorry, couldn't find a version of this song sans Grey's Anatomy...

Thoughts on relationships

When I was little I always said I never wanted to get married or have kids. I just didn’t see the appeal or the point. I’m not sure whether or not that had anything to do with the husband part. Over the years I changed that perspective a little bit, not so much about the traditional family part, but when I became a teenager the idea of relationships did become more appealing.

Not that I had a clue about what a relationship was supposed to be like, but of course I had lots of ideas or more precisely, weird dream like expectations. Where do we get these ideas from? Surely not from watching our parents’ relationships?

Are we brainwashed with movie fairytales of wonderfully exciting amazing relationships? Or is it something more inherent, this deep desire or need to have this special bond with someone that goes beyond every other bond we have with the people around us?

Regardless of the answers to these questions, it’s true that we tend to approach relationships with a lot of preconceived notions and expectations of what it should be like. They do change over the years – either experience makes us more realistic or needs and ideas about relationships change.

I find romantic relationships very fascinating, especially when they either really work well or when they don’t work at all, but people still keep at it making the same mistakes over and over again. Of course I am talking about other people’s relationships here. Mine are not hardly as fascinating, nor am I able to reflect on them as objectively.

You can learn a lot from other people’s relationships. And not just how not to do things or to figure out what you do not want. Sometimes you also learn to appreciate other perspectives, different ways you can have connections with people, how you can make relationships work that might be very different to how most people do it.

Another thing that fascinates me is that sometimes the world seems to be divided into relationship and non-relationship people. With that I mean is that some people always seem to be in relationships. They are always dating or go from one boyfriend or girlfriend to the next.

Then there are people who are pretty much single most of the time. They might still have active romantic lives, but this usually doesn’t mean a lot of long term relationships. It always makes me wonder if this means two different kinds of people or if our lives just help remain the status quo.

For example, people who are single tend to have a lot of single friends and because they are single they spend a lot of time together. Whereas long term relationship people often seem to hang out with other couples, being very couply together.

Over time the relationship folks leave the single group and the single people stop hanging out with the couples and join the opposite group. Of course things aren’t really that black and white, but I think there is some truth in it.

In reality we can probably divide people in all sorts of categories and there are many different individual ways that people make their relationships work. Just as there are many different kinds or relationships.

Some people see things very black and white, as in you have friendships and there’s romantic relationships. I tend to think there’s a whole spectrum of possible relationships you can have with people. They can range from mere acquaintances to soul mates and everything in between.

As with most things, labels and categories do not really matter here. What matters is that whenever you meet someone that you think is awesome and they like your company too that is something very cool and special that should be treasured.

Pretty Picture Tuesday: Sunset

I know it is not the most beautiful sunset in the world or even the nicest that I have seen, but it is a sunset I watch quite often from the bridge near my house. Just thought I’d share.

Life blogging a funeral? - Belgium says goodbye to Yasmine

Friday was the funeral of singer and TV presenter Yasmine (real name Hilde Rens) who passed away last week. Because of the huge response from people to the sad news it was decided that the funeral would be open to the general public. The service itself was only attended by family and friends, but about 1,000 fans and other interested people watched the service outside on a big screen.

Photo from Yasmine.be

The funeral was even live blogged on the internet, which I personally think is wrong and shows a lack of respect. I feel that funerals should be a private matter where loved ones go to pay their respect and say goodbye.

When someone passes away who was loved by many people who did not know her personally, but whose lives she still touched, I can understand there is a great need to show what she meant and to find some closure.

There are a number of different ways to do this, but I don’t believe live blogging the funeral on websites and on Twitter should be one of them. Technology can be a wonderful thing, but in my opinion some things should just stay old fashioned and according to traditions.

All week people have been paying their respects in a number of different ways, including a tribute by lesbian teenagers in Gent. Organisations in Belgium have been really good at providing those who need it with telephone helplines targeted at both the general public and the lesbian community.

I did not know Yasmine very well, but her death has touched me deeply. My heart goes out to her loved ones and everyone else who cared about her. I have been playing this song she sang a few years ago together with Dutch singer Frank Boeijen that I really like and I hope you do too.

This post was first published on eurOut.

Song of the week: Evanescence - Heart shaped box

What I think is beautiful

YOU are beautiful!

Just so you know. Life is too wonderful and too short to waste it on self-esteem issues...

Frank Boeyen & Yasmine - Suzanne

Why women are awesome

Music Memory Moment: Let Love Rule by Lenny Kravitz

It’s been a while since I last wrote a blog post about a Music Memory Moment. I am not sure why, as it’s not like I have run out of MMMs. The song I want to mention this time is Let love rule by Lenny Kravitz.

I used to go to a lot of music festivals. That’s how I spend every summer from my late teens until my mid twenties. Pinkpop, Parkpop, Bevrijdingspop, Rock Werchter, Dynamo Open Air. You name the festival and I have probably been there. It was a great period of my life I think back on fondly.

Many of these music festivals I attended together with my sister, which was always a lot of fun as we like the same things, the same music and we have a similar kind of humour. The one thing that all those years going to festivals have in common is Lenny Kravitz.

For some reason the guy has been present at almost every festival we went to together. How do I know? Because it used to annoy the hell out of me. There was a point in my life, a long long time ago, when I was actually a bit of a fan.

I even went to see Lenny Kravitz in concert and got the T-shirt to prove it that I had for many years. Granted, I think that was in 1993 and by the time I started going to music festivals Kravitz was still performing the same songs. Every single year.

Ok sometimes the songs must have differed, but the one tune he always played was Let love rule. I have heard it so many times that even to this day when I hear it it annoys the hell out of me. It also always makes me think of those summers at the music festival with my sister.

In particular it makes me think back of one summer when we were attending Rock Werchter, but we had been a bit late and therefore our tent was set up in a ditch somewhere. I am not joking. It was half in the bushes and half up the side of a dried up ditch.

I remember getting really stoned lying around in front of our tent while Lenny Kravitz was playing – who we of course did not have to see because we had seen him that often. That was the famous afternoon (famous only for my sister and I) that my sister convinced me that horses had no teeth. In my defence I was a little out of it and it made perfect sense to me when she said it.

OMG Look at this....Lenny Kravitz playing at Rock Werchter in 2008. He is STILL playing at every festival year after year.

Brazilian version of the Fuck You video against homophobia

How awesome! I am curious to find out which country will be next...

YouTube Thursday: Bad movies I loved when I was younger

There were many bad movies to choose from, but I settled on one very innocent one, and two not so innocent ones...hmm. Or the other way round, you decide.

Peter en de vliegende autobus (1976)

Very bad Dutch children’s movie about a professor creating weightless gummy balls and when they end up in the bus of a school trip the whole bus goes up in the air, but luckily ends up landing in an amusement park. I LOVED this film as a kid.

Threesome (1993)

I saw this movie in the theatre twice. In my defence, I was only 17 at the time and very confused about my sexuality. I really identified with the gay boy in the film.


Wild side (1995)

Possibly one of the worst movies ever made (let’s not get into the plot), but with some unbelievably hot sex scenes between Anne Heche and Joan Chen.

About friendship or choosing

Friendship is something I cherish more than almost anything else in life. Good friends are like a rare and beautiful gift. I have been blessed with wonderful friends. I have never been someone who has had lots and lots of friends, but those that I let into my social circle really matter.

Even though in my life there is a lot of grey and I am pretty good at being neutral, or seeing things from different sides, I tend to divide people into two broad rather black and white categories: those that matter and those that don’t.

Sometimes this is a more conscious division than at other times, but it still comes down to the same thing. When I really like someone, someone I think who’s awesome and who touches me, they become part of the “those that matter “ group.

I am pretty loyal to those I consider my friends and I would like to think I am a good friend. I tend to see friendships as rather unconditional, yet at the same time I am very aware they are sometimes not like that at all.

Some people are only meant to be in your life for a limited time or a certain period in your life. And that is ok. It is always sad when a friendship ends, but that’s life. Especially if it just happens gradually and naturally, that’s ok.

Other times however, it was a very conscious decision. A few times in my life I chose to remove someone from that “those that matter” group. I am really easy going and can take a lot, but when you cross that line, it’s over.

Ok maybe not that black and white, but I have learned over the years that when a situation comes up where I am made to choose, I will choose. And I won’t look back. This is harder to do when the decision is between two people who matter to you.

I am really good at remaining impartial, seeing both sides, and not getting involved. But sometimes you get caught up in things and you have to decide where your loyalties lie. Sometimes you don’t know what you will choose and at other times it is pretty clear from the start.

It surprises me how many people don’t understand about loyalty or showing respect about those you consider your friends. Let me illustrate what I mean by this. I might be a very direct and often blunt person, but I would never intentionally badmouth those I consider my friends.

The one thing that really bugs me is when someone bad talks about someone else that they know I like and care about. Sure, I complain about others too, but there is a big difference. The other thing I hate are liars. I actually don’t care at all about lying in general, but if you lie about important stuff you just suck.

I think I have forgotten where I was going with this post. The bottom line is that friendships matter to me. A lot. And I am thankful for all those wonderful people who at some point have made a difference to my life, just by being their awesome selves.

Top hot Butches list: My picks

Last week Sinclair Sexsmith presented the Top Hot Butches list that caused a bit of a steer. The criteria by which women qualified for that list were kind of broad, vague and controversial, but I don’t want to go into that now.

Instead I thought it was a great excuse to post some photos of the women that made the list that I really like – either because of hotness or because they are awesome or, well, mainly because they are hot.

Like I said, I did not look or think if any of these women fit any kind of label...these are just 8 women who were on that list that I think are very attractive...

#1 Rachel Maddow

Because smart and geeky is HOT

#3 Chris Pureka

Love love love her music

#10 Syd Blakovich

Yes, she’s a porn star, but there is just something about this photo

#16 Natasha Kai

One of my favourite hot soccer players. Yes, there’s lot of them

#38 Sarah Bettens

Great singer, great woman, getting hotter every year

#46 Rebecca Drysdale

There’s just something about her

#51 Melissa Ferrick

It’s the look, the attitude, the awesome music

#61 Tracy Chapman

She always makes me smile

Let me know if there’s any women who did not make this list that should have. I am very curious to find out.

TV shows you should own on DVD: Fringe

Fringe is quite possibly one of the best shows I have ever seen. I wouldn’t go as far as to say it is my favourite show, but it comes damn close. I just finished watching the first season and I am kind of sad about it, because now there will be no more Fringe to watch until the second season starts.

For those of you who are not familiar with Fringe (Shame on you!), the best description of the show is probably as a cross between CSI and the X-files. Actually, it is a lot like the X-files, same bizarre stuff happens, only there are no aliens.

Instead of all the aliens and other mysterious paranormal events that took place on the X-files, on Fringe it is all man made. It is scientist who were a little too smart for their own good, who are causing all the crazy happenings.

When I say crazy happenings, I mean stuff like time travel – or more exactly travel between dimensions – being able to hear and share other peoples thoughts, making people do stuff by having contagious emotions, killing people through computer viruses, and the list goes on and on.

All these mysterious happenings accompanied by unusual deaths by itself would already make this a show worth watching. I am a big fan of crime shows and mysterious sci-fi stuff in general. But what makes Fringe so great, is that there is actually a story behind it (unlike crime shows like CSI that just have the murder of the week that they solve in 45 minutes).

It’s utterly fascinating to see the story unfold, of what exactly these scientist are up to or have done and what role our main characters (have)play(ed) in it. That’s another thing I love about this show, all the main characters are so great. Great as in interesting and likeable.

I love agent Olivia (played by the gorgeous Anna Torv) – who I have already talked about at length in a previous post. She is hot and smart and so likeable. It’s one of those incidents where I am not sure whether I want to be her or do her. Probably both.

She has a great chemistry with Pacey (yes, I know that is not his character’s name, but Joshua Jackson will always be Pacey to me. I hearted Pacey. Any other Dawson’s Creek fans out there?). He’s very likeable and interesting. I want them to hook up (I am sure they will at some point, then decide it’s a “mistake”).

And of course the most likable guy of the show is the mad scientist. He must be annoying and tiresome to have as a father, but over the course of the season I have really started to love the guy. He is so brilliant and smart, yet so childlike and well, a little crazy.

I started watching the first few episodes of Fringe just enjoying the show. Then I got really invested in the storylines. Towards the end I was OMGing at my laptop screen, excited and eager to find out more.

I know it hasn’t been released on DVD yet, but when it does, make sure you get your copy of the first season of Fringe. It is so worth your money, trust me.

Now when does the second season start dammit?

Song of the week: Brandi Carlile - The Story

Awesome Buffy versus Edward mash-up

OMG this is the most awesomest thing ever...Buffy rocks. And ehm...I hadn't seen Twilight before, but could that Edward boy be any lamer?

Winner announced for Dutch Femme 2009 award

On Saturday during Roze Zaterdag (Pink Saturday) in Den Haag, the final of the Dutch Femme 2009 award– the search for the Dutch queer role model – took place. The event was organised by Femfusion, the organisation who has also been responsible for other great initiatives like Lesbian Flow that we told you about a few weeks ago.

The idea behind the Femme award it is to pick one woman each year to be the face and spokes person for queer Dutch women, in order to improve lesbian and bisexual visibility and emancipation.

After an initial online selection process by readers of the Femfusion website, followed by a semi final where lesbian and bisexual women had to compete for the title, including performing and giving a speech in front of an actual jury, three finalists were chosen.

For the last few weeks everyone was encouraged to vote for the winner, by sending a text message with the name of their favourite contestant. A little bit like the queer Idols, if you will.

Finalists Femme 2009 award Guillitta, Eline and Saskia

To give more publicity to the event, the three finalists and organisers of the event could also be seen in several television programmes in the last few weeks. This was on top of several known faces being involved in the initiative, including minister Plastkerk who opened the event, author/singer Karin Giphart who was part of the jury and singer Michelle who wrote a song especially for the event, Boobs and Brains.

On Saturday night Karin Giphart announced the winner: 23-year-old Giullitta Anthony. She received the first prize from singer Ellen ten Damme, besides being “our” spokesperson for a year, she also gets to drive around in a Smart Forfem.

You can watch Karin Giphart interview Giullitta about being chosen as Femme 2009 here. For those of you who don’t speak Dutch, she is talking about how she came about taking part in the competition and how visibility of queer women is important. They also talk about the fact that she’s bisexual and how that shouldn’t be an issue, because the main thing is that both lesbians and bisexuals are into women.

Femfusion made a statement that they are really happy with Giullitta as their first spokesperson, saying she owes her victory to her charismatic presentation and her sense of humour.

The latter came through mainly in the semi finals where she performed a sketch entitled Zotte pot (Crazy dyke), about misconceptions of queer women in the media and everyday life. They are convinced she’ll do a great job improving lesbian visibility in the Netherlands.

What do you think of this initiative? Are you sceptical or do you think we should we have awards like this in other countries as well?

This article was first published on eurOut.