Monday, August 3, 2009

How things change

Below is my first ever blog post I wrote about 18 months ago:

Life’s what you make it(?)
A new year, a new blog.

I started this tradition* where I do something big and drastic every year. Two years ago I moved to a different country, one year ago I quit smoking. I am still not sure which of the two was a more life-changing event. This year, however, nothing major or drastic has happened yet. Not only hasn’t it happened yet, I am also not sure what this year’s big thing should be.

Sure, I am starting this new blog, it’s day five of my great this-time-I-will-not-be-weak- diet, and I am about to move back to my hometown. Still, none of this actually qualifies as big and drastic, let alone life changing. Well, maybe the whole moving back to my hometown thing does. So many people say you should never go back, including me. How happy I was to leave, and how certain I was that I would never ever go back. Never say never.

I said I would never stick around uni longer than I had to, and for years I laughed at the losers in grad school, until I ended up there myself. I said I would never love another the way I loved her, and well you can probably guess how that ended. I said I would never become unemployed, I would never move to Germany, I would never give up smoking, I would never become like my parents, I would never become old and boring, I would never…

Life has a funny way of making things happen and taking you places, regardless of how you pictured it in your head beforehand or the plans you’re making. Or as someone else has already said it better before me “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans” (John Lennon).

Even though this might be true, I still feel like you should not just sit on the sidelines and watch your life unfold. I like to think I have some control over my life, or at least I want certain things to happen. Like doing something big and drastic once a year. It makes me feel like I am doing something good and useful, and at the same time it’s also kind of fun. If only I had a clue what this year’s big thing was going to be…

It’s true that nothing big or world changing happened at the beginning of 2008 and nothing much happened at all for a big part of that year..but comparing myself and what my life is like right now, it’s a world of difference. And all for the good.

I guess you really cannot always consciously change or determine what direction your life is going to take. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last year is that that really doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

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