Wednesday, July 1, 2009

About friendship or choosing

Friendship is something I cherish more than almost anything else in life. Good friends are like a rare and beautiful gift. I have been blessed with wonderful friends. I have never been someone who has had lots and lots of friends, but those that I let into my social circle really matter.

Even though in my life there is a lot of grey and I am pretty good at being neutral, or seeing things from different sides, I tend to divide people into two broad rather black and white categories: those that matter and those that don’t.

Sometimes this is a more conscious division than at other times, but it still comes down to the same thing. When I really like someone, someone I think who’s awesome and who touches me, they become part of the “those that matter “ group.

I am pretty loyal to those I consider my friends and I would like to think I am a good friend. I tend to see friendships as rather unconditional, yet at the same time I am very aware they are sometimes not like that at all.

Some people are only meant to be in your life for a limited time or a certain period in your life. And that is ok. It is always sad when a friendship ends, but that’s life. Especially if it just happens gradually and naturally, that’s ok.

Other times however, it was a very conscious decision. A few times in my life I chose to remove someone from that “those that matter” group. I am really easy going and can take a lot, but when you cross that line, it’s over.

Ok maybe not that black and white, but I have learned over the years that when a situation comes up where I am made to choose, I will choose. And I won’t look back. This is harder to do when the decision is between two people who matter to you.

I am really good at remaining impartial, seeing both sides, and not getting involved. But sometimes you get caught up in things and you have to decide where your loyalties lie. Sometimes you don’t know what you will choose and at other times it is pretty clear from the start.

It surprises me how many people don’t understand about loyalty or showing respect about those you consider your friends. Let me illustrate what I mean by this. I might be a very direct and often blunt person, but I would never intentionally badmouth those I consider my friends.

The one thing that really bugs me is when someone bad talks about someone else that they know I like and care about. Sure, I complain about others too, but there is a big difference. The other thing I hate are liars. I actually don’t care at all about lying in general, but if you lie about important stuff you just suck.

I think I have forgotten where I was going with this post. The bottom line is that friendships matter to me. A lot. And I am thankful for all those wonderful people who at some point have made a difference to my life, just by being their awesome selves.

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